


If We Don't Leave This Town

by EvilFriendOfMine



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bookshop Owner Harry, Gang Violence, Guns, Harry runs a bookstore, London Irish Crew - Freeform, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Minor Character Death, Narry - Freeform, Niall is a gang member, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-13 00:20:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 43,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11173077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilFriendOfMine/pseuds/EvilFriendOfMine
Summary: Harry moves to London and begins working at a small bookstore, when a blond-haired, blue-eyed Irishman runs into the store to hide from some no-so-friendly looking men.  A relationship sparks but it's anything but easy as Harry has to deal with Niall being a key member of the London Irish Crew, along with his two friends, Louis and Liam.  But Niall dreams of getting out one day and taking his friends and Harry with him, but leaving is a lot harder than any of them ever thought it would be.





	If We Don't Leave This Town

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank the lovely [StylingMrStyles](https://stylingmrstyles.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr for her fantastic artwork and staying with me through all this craziness. Link to Artwork [here](http://irishsunshine-n-l-l-h.tumblr.com/image/161710738129)
> 
> I started think up this story because I was learning about bookstores in one of my classes while watching Sons of Anarchy and The Outsiders at the same time. 
> 
> This fic is for round five of the 1d big bang.
> 
> Title from "Sleep On the Floor" by The Lumineers.

Harry folds the corner of the page over to mark his place while he helps a customer.  He’d read _In Cold Blood_ three times already, but he noticed something different with every read through.  It’s an old copy of the book with yellowing pages and that old book smell.  He’d lost his copy somewhere in his travels around England.  Harry walked into Mr. Holland’s bookstore and was browsing through the shelves when he saw _In Cold Blood_ under a copy of _Tristan and Isolde_ and brought it up to the front where Mr. Holland stood by the cash register with the small ‘help wanted’ sign sitting on the counter. 

Mr. Holland and his wife were nearing their seventies and wanted to go traveling, but since they had no children they didn’t have anyone to manage the store while they were gone.  They had been through a few other candidates before Harry showed up, but Mr. Holland said he couldn’t trust them, they weren’t genuine.  Harry started working at the bookstore almost immediately. He charmed Mrs. Holland and every customer that came in the door.  He talked for ages with the Holland’s accountant and bookkeeper, Greg, whenever he came in to update the books and do the payroll.

The Hollands had Harry over for dinner once a week, to “feed him properly” as Mrs. Holland said.  It was late August by the time they told Harry about their plans to travel around Europe for a couple months and that they were confident enough to leave the store in Harry’s hands.  “Greg is going to send us reports on occasion to make sure everything is going smoothly financially, but it’s all up to you,” Mr. Holland had said when he handed Harry a list of instructions  for ordering new books, paying the bills, the rent, and anything that Harry could possibly need.

Now, it’s the beginning of September and it’s Harry’s first day running the store by himself.  After the customer leaves, Harry goes back to reading his book.  He listens to the sound of people talking as they walk down the pavement outside the shop.  He looks up occasionally to peer out the front windows on either side of the single front door, watching the London traffic go by.  He looks back down at his book and tries not to feel sorry for Perry like he did the first time he read the book.

Harry flips the page and the bell chimes over top of the door, before he has a chance to mark the page to greet the customer, the man runs into the shop, looking out the window momentarily before he slides over and ducks on the floor on the customer side of the counter where it wraps around to Harry’s right, so he’s hidden from the view of the front windows.

Harry stands there staring out at the rest of the bookshop dumbfounded and looking for a sign of what to do.  He lost the page in his book when the man ran through the shop so quickly.  Harry looks out the front windows and watches as four large men jog down the pavement in front of the store, looking like they were searching for something…or someone, Harry thinks to himself as he remembers the blonde man that was currently hiding on the other side of the counter.  The two men pause outside the store and Harry’s gaze goes back down to his book, so they don’t see him watching and draw attention to the shop in any way.

He sees them move on down the street out of the corner of his eye and he breathes out not realizing he was even holding in the air in the first place.  Harry leans over the side of the counter, peering down at the man sitting on the floor. 

“They’re gone,” Harry says quietly. The man looks up at him and that’s when Harry realizes it’s not really a man-man but a young man with bright blond hair and even brighter blue eyes.

The young man breathes out a sigh of relief sinking even further down on the floor.  His chest is still going up and down at a fast rate and Harry thinks that he must have been running for a while before he ran into the shop.

The blond collects himself, pulls himself up off the floor, and makes a quick glance out the front windows just to make sure that the coast was clear. 

“Sorry about that,” the blond says and Harry picks out the Irish accent right off the bat.  He’s pretty sure that a simple disagreement over just about any sport would make a bunch of guys want to pummel an Irishman, so he isn’t all that shocked. “Those lads would’ve done my head in,” the Irishman tries to laugh it off, but something about the look on his face as the blond still watches out the windows makes him think it might have been something worse than a footie match or something like that. 

“It’s not a problem,” Harry tries to add a lightness to his voice.  “We get run-ins all the time.”

The Irishman laughs and Harry’s heart melts at the blonde’s bright smile.  He could listen to him laugh all day and Harry doesn’t think he’d get tired of it one bit. 

“Don’t think I’ve seen you here before, though I have to admit, I haven’t been in in a while,” the Irishman says. 

“Managing the store while the Hollands are away,” Harry says.  It wasn’t a secret that the Hollands were out of the country for a while and it just slips out anyway.

“Ah, they finally got someone to do the job then. Good for them.”

“You know them?” Harry questions.

The blonde shrugs.  “I’ve done some security work for them before and I fancy meself a bit of a book-lover…used to come here at least once a week.”

The silence hangs in the air a bit as Harry looks out the front windows, becoming paranoid himself. 

“’m Niall Horan by the way,” the blonde says stretching his hand over the counter for Harry to shake.

He takes Niall’s hand in a firm grip and feels the roughness of callouses on the tips of Niall’s fingers.  “Harry,” he replies simply.

Niall rubs the back of his neck and shifts awkwardly. “Well, I’ll see you around, I s’pose,” he gives a small smile as he made his way toward the front door.

“Yeah.” Harry watches as Niall peers up and down the street before he steps out onto the pavement. The rest of the day carries on in its normal routine, aside from the lack of the Hollands in the store. 

Harry rearranges the biography and memoir section so things are at least a little easier to find on the shelves.  Two girls come in and he hears them giggling, hidden in the literary fiction section.  It gets closer to closing time and Harry hopes that the girls don’t stay for too long so that he can leave at a decent time once he’s done locking everything up. 

The girls come up to the counter still giggling to one another as they place a worn copy of Flannery O’Connor’s short story collection on the counter.  The brunettes eyes watch Harry beneath layers of mascara and Harry is a little more clear about what they were probably giggling about, but they were barking up the wrong tree.  He gives them their change and tells them to have a nice night and a frown falls on the girls’ faces. 

He hears the bell chime above the door as they leave the store and Harry closes his eyes and sighs, until he hears the bell chime again and the distinct creak of the wooden floorboards. 

Harry grumbles to himself, but opens his eyes to see the blonde boy from earlier standing right across the counter from him.

“Uh…” Harry is at a loss for what to say.

“So, I was thinking.” Niall says leaning against the counter.  “You kind of saved me bacon earlier today and I didn’t know how te give ya a proper thank you, so I thought that maybe I could cook you dinner, at my place, maybe tomorrow night?” He raises an eyebrow at Harry, which just makes Harry even more speechless.

“Uh…”

“I know it’s a bit odd but I swear te ya that ‘m actually a decent cook.”

Harry doesn’t think it’s possible, but Niall’s eyes look even bluer now than they did that morning. 

“I promise that I’m not some serial killer or something.  Just dinner, no death,” Niall chuckles.

“Sure?” Harry manages to say.

“Good, uh here, give me your phone and we can trade numbers and I can text you later with me address and a time, yeah?” Niall puts his hand out.  Harry pulls his phone out of his pocket and they trade numbers.

“Good. So, I’ll let you know all the details then and I hope to see ya tomorrow, Harry.” Niall smiles and puts Harry’s phone on the counter and exits the shop.

After Niall leaves, Harry goes over, locks the front door and flips the open sign to ‘closed’. “What the fuck just happened?” he says to himself. 

He goes home to his small flat and sits in front of the TV as he eats his dinner.  Fifty different scenarios go through his mind as he watches the cooking channel from one show to the next.  He met this guy after he ran into the store trying to hide from some huge guys and Harry had agreed to go to the guy’s house and have dinner.  If he had any friends to tell they would ask him if he lost his mind.

Seconds later, Harry’s phone buzzes next to him on the couch cushion. He picks it up and sees not only Niall’s name show up on the screen but also a colon-parenthesis smiley face next to it. What a cheeky little shit, Harry thinks to himself as he opens the text which had Niall’s address on the other side of town written out and @6:30 with a winky face. 

Harry waits a few minutes to reply so he doesn’t seem like a loser.  _See you then. –H_

Not even a minute later Niall replies back, _Can’t wait !_.

It’s safe to say that Harry doesn’t sleep much that night.  He couldn’t stop thinking about Niall and all the good and bad possibilities.  He tells himself that it’s just dinner and there’s nothing to be worried about and that Niall is just one of those overly nice, social-butterfly type of people who trusts everybody and whom everybody loves.  But that was a lot to say about a guy who he has only talked to for a total of about five minutes. 

Harry takes a boiling hot shower in the morning to try and get his brain to focus on anything that isn’t Niall.  He knows Greg is supposed to stop by at the end of the day to take the cash deposit to the bank and deal with all the money stuff that Harry has no clue how to do.  Running the store is easy.  It’s all smiling at people and helping them find what they’re looking for in the stacks of books around the store, but Harry’s been through it all enough times to know where most things are on the shelves.

His skin is red hot when he steps out of the shower and fixes his long hair in the mirror so it dries nicely.  He remembers the first time he had dinner with the Hollands and how Mrs. Holland’s eyes had darted toward the tattoos running up his left arm.  He thought then and there that they wouldn’t want him working at their clean cut store anymore after they saw them where he rolled up his sleeves, but instead, they both asked about them and Harry told them how he got a bunch of different ones from places he had been around England.  It seemed kind of silly telling them all about his travels around England when they told him about planning a trip around Europe.  Harry hadn’t even been to Ireland or Scotland.

He wonders, as he walks to work, whether or not Niall will like his tattoos, and then quickly tries to put the thought out of his head. 

Harry opens the store and takes out _In Cold Blood_ waiting for anyone to walk in.  He doesn’t tell people that _In Cold Blood_ is his favorite book.  It’s like telling him that he condones murdering an entire family, when really, he likes the way the story leads the reader on, making them think that Dick and Perry weren’t such bad guys.  The story was real though, and that put things into perspective.

He helps an older woman find a copy of _The Hobbit_ , hidden in the back corner, for her grandson.  She tells Harry about how well read her grandson is and how she grew up reading Tolkien.  He thinks about changing what his favorite book is so he never has to walk into a store to buy _In Cold Blood_ for one of his grandkids…if he ever has any.

Greg shows up at 4:30 to deal with all the cash stuff.  Harry lets him behind the counter while he starts closing up the shop.  He sweeps the front area and looks up just as two guys walk down the sidewalk. It’s not a casual walk either, but they seem determined to get wherever they are going.  Harry looks back down at the floor and continues sweeping.  He hears Greg zip the deposit bag shut.  “I’ll come back on Monday to update the books. Gotta bring my mum to the doctors after I drop this off.”

“Everything alright?” Harry asks putting his hand at the top of the broomstick as he looks at Greg.

“Yeah, she was in a car accident a couple weeks ago.  Some gang shit downtown; guys were driving like idiots chancing after each other and she got caught up in it all.  She’s fine though, just the occasional visit to make sure everything’s healing properly.” Greg shrugs. “Place is going to shit; honestly thinking of moving somewhere else.”

“I’ve been somewhere else,” Harry says casually. “Seems like everything has its ups and downs and London is no different.”

“We’re just a couple of optimists, aren’t we?” Greg says shaking his head. “Well, I’ll see you next week.”

“Yep.”  Harry nods and he locks the door behind Greg when he leaves.  He’s still got an hour and a half until he has to go to dinner. He thinks about just leaving now and wandering around for a little while, getting acquainted with the city. 

Harry’s nerves start to bubble as soon as he gets to the street Niall lives on and then his heart pounds when he gets to the building. The building is a lot nicer than his own is and Harry’s pretty sure the hot water must work here as well. He walks up the stairs to the third floor and pauses in front of 3C.  He adjusts his shirt and breathes out heavily before he knocks on the door.

The door opens moments later, he’s greeted by Niall’s white, sunshine-filled smile and it makes Harry’s stomach flutter. 

“Thank god. Thought you might try to skip out on me,” Niall says opening the door wider so Harry can step inside the flat.  “Glad you could make it.  Honestly, I know this is a bit weird,” Niall rambles on leading Harry toward the kitchen area, which smells amazing.  “Making veggie stir-fry, forgot te ask if you were allergic to anything or if you didn’t eat meat or something like that.”

“No, it’s fine,” Harry says.  The entire counter is full of fresh vegetables.  “This looks great.”

“Would’ve had it done by the time you got here, but I got a little held up with work stuff. In the end, I just let the lads handle it.” Niall waves it off like it’s no big deal. 

Harry looks around the flat and notices the expensive leather couch in the living area, which he’s sure costs more than his rent for a month.  “If you don’t mind me asking.” Harry turns back toward Niall. “What exactly do you do? I know you said you did some security work for the Hollands.”

“Yeah, I’m into a bit of everything, I s’pose.” Niall starts chopping up the asparagus.  “Sales…Security…whatever pays the bills.”

And that’s Niall’s first strike in Harry’s mind; he doesn’t like people who dance around the truth especially when Niall didn’t seem to want to tell any specifics.  Harry leans against one of the tall chairs pulled up to the counter where Niall is working.

“Can I ask you why you were running from those guys yesterday?” Harry asks tentatively, not daring to look up at Niall.

“Went somewhere I wasn’t welcome, to be honest,” Niall says without missing a beat. “Some folks around here don’t take to kindly to us leprechauns hanging around.” 

Niall empties the cutting board, with its various vegetables, into the pan on the stove behind him. “What kind of music do you listen to?” Niall asks over his shoulder as he stirs everything together.  “I like to think I’ve got a decent collection, but all me mates hate my music.”  Niall gestures toward the shelves behind Harry to the left and Harry can see the large amount of CDs and vinyl records from across the room. 

He steps over toward the shelves and skims through the band names and album titles.  “Fleetwood Mac, The Eagles, Bob Dylan…” Harry lists off.  “I think you should get new mates, to be honest.”

Harry hears Niall chuckle and the blonde wipes his hands on a dish towel and joins Harry in front of the shelves of music.  “So, you approve?”

“To say the least,” Harry notes mesmerized by the art on the album sleeves.

“I definitely ran into the right bookstore,” Niall jokes.  He leans over, looking at the album in Harry’s hands.  Harry feels Niall’s hand on his back, but instead of creeping Harry out, it calms the tension in his muscles.  Niall’s touch is warm and comforting and the closer Niall leans in the more the smell of cinnamon fills Harry’s senses.  “If you want to play something, you’re welcome to it,” Niall says standing up straight. “Figure about ten more minutes until all this is done.” Niall maneuvers himself back into the kitchen and Harry feels the empty space behind him as he looks for the right album to play.

Niall looks at him with a goofy smile when “Monday Morning” by Fleetwood Mac starts playing. 

“Good choice,” Niall laughs.  He starts bobbing around the kitchen along with the music as he adds a couple more ingredients to the stir-fry.

 

Niall sets everything along the island countertop.  He disappears down the hallway and comes back moments later with a bottle of wine.  “Never get the chance to drink this stuff.  More of a beer man meself.” Niall gets two tall wine glasses from the cupboard and sets them on the counter in front of two of the tall chairs. 

“You’re acting like I pulled you out of a burning building,” Harry says watching Niall pour the wine. “All I did was let you hide behind a counter.”

“And a mighty fine counter it was to hide behind,” Niall jokes, bowing his head at Harry.  “Saved me life whether you like it or not.”

Harry chuckles and shakes his head as Niall sits down beside him.  “Where did you even learn to cook like this?” Harry questions. 

Niall spoons the rice and then the colorful stir-fry onto their plates.  “Me da, mostly.  But once I got a little more money, I could buy better ingredients and whatnot.  I find the whole process kind of calming.  Get to stay in my own head for a little while and just focus on something else. What about you? You don’t cook?” Niall takes a forkful and eats it like it’s no big deal, but Harry can hardly believe how good it tastes.

“It’s just me,” Harry starts off.  “If I make something it usually takes a few days to eat it and by then I’m tired of it, so I just go for the simple stuff.”

Niall’s left elbow touches Harry’s arm as the blonde goes for his wine.  “I know what you mean. I invite me mates over and just let the two of them rummage through whatever leftovers I have so I don’t have to eat it all anymore.” 

Harry takes a big sip of his wine, more just to calm his nerves than anything else.

“But hey, if neither of us turns out to be psycho killers, we might just have to make this a regular thing…”

“If neither of us turns out to be a psycho killer?” Harry repeats looking at Niall curiously.

Niall looks back at him. “The night is still young,” Niall shrugs, “who knows what could happen?”  He laughs then looks back at Harry, staring into his eyes.

“Very blue,” Harry mutters, and when Niall’s eyebrow pops, Harry realizes he said it out loud.  Harry immediately looks down at his plate and he can feel his face heat up. “Sorry.”

“’s okay,” Niall replies with a small laugh.

He chances a glance over at Niall who has an amused grin on his face looking down at his own plate.

“Don’t get out much do you,” Niall asks in a lighter tone, trying to get rid of the awkwardness hanging between them.

“Guess not,” Harry laughs.

“Well, hopefully I can change that,” Niall says smiling at Harry.

As Harry told Niall, he hadn’t been out much, but he was pretty sure that Niall was flirting with him.  But the odds of a gay Irishman running into another gay man’s place of work, trying to hide from some burly men was something out of one of the books in the miscellaneous section that Harry couldn’t find a proper place for.  One of those books that Harry cringes at just reading the first page, but in all those stories, the relationships were a little more heterosexual.

“You’re trying to figure me out, aren’t ya?” Niall asks and Harry comes back into reality and he realizes he was sitting there staring at nothing for a few moments.  “To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Niall continues and he leans back but he sits there kind of hunched over himself, like he was finally just Niall instead of the version of himself that he’s been projecting to Harry since they first met.  “I’ve ducked into plenty of shops before but I’ve never asked anyone to dinner except you,” he admits. 

Niall pulls at the hem of his shirt; his fingers curling around the fabric and fidgeting even when he tries to settling them.  They sit in the silence building up between them until Niall perks back up and reaches out. “More wine?” he asks but he’s already pouring Harry another glass and then adding more to his own.

They talk about nothing and everything for the next couple of hours. Each of them taking turns adding more wine to their glasses to fill the silence until the bottle is empty.  They’ve moved their conversation to the couch and both of them are smiling and red-faced from all the alcohol.

Harry sits too close to Niall, but the blonde doesn’t seem to mind as he lets their knees touch.  They’ve had enough wine that even Harry’s jokes are funny and he smiles as Niall’s laugh fills the entire room.  Quite possibly the greatest laugh Harry has ever heard. 

Even when the wine is gone, they let the alcohol move them closer together.  Niall laughs and his hand comes down to rest on Harry’s thigh.  Both boys stop and look at each other.  With Niall’s hand on his thigh, Harry’s the one that leans in first, but he isn’t shocked when Niall meets him halfway.

Harry can taste the remnants of wine on Niall’s lips.  This wasn’t how he saw the night going, but the alcohol tells him that it’s a good thing.

 

 

It had been a while since Harry woke up in someone else’s bed…even longer that he woke up in someone else’s bed naked.  He rolls over and the other side of the bed is empty making Harry look for a note that says something along the lines of “get the fuck out of my bed”, because what kind of one-night-stand ends with someone staying until morning.  There are rules to this sort of thing and Harry broke them.  His head hurts, wine hangovers are the worst kind.  He finds his pants on the floor next to the bed and slowly follows the trail of clothes littering the bedroom floor, finding his black jeans at the foot of the bed and his shirt thrown on top of the dresser. 

He tries to get himself as composed and ready to sneak quietly through the flat as quickly as possible.  He opens the bedroom door slowly and peers out only to be hit by the smell of bacon cooking.  Harry slips out into the hallway and pads quietly into the kitchen/living area to see Niall, freshly showered with his hair sitting flat and damp on his forehead, moving around the kitchen like he did the night before, along with two plates and glasses that are sitting at the counter.

Niall turns and sees Harry standing in the arch of the hallway. “Oh good, you’re awake.  Breakfast is almost ready and uh…” he looks around frantically then picks something up off the counter.  “Found your phone under the couch so I plugged it in to charge before I did mine up.”

It takes Harry a moment to recognize his pink phone case in Niall’s hand. “Oh…uh, thanks,” Harry says awkwardly walking up to Niall and taking the phone. 

“Have a seat. You want orange juice? Afraid I don’t have much else besides that other than water.”

“Orange juice is fine,” Harry says looking at Niall curiously.

But Niall doesn’t seem to notice and he smiles and goes back to making breakfast, while Harry stands there dumbfounded.

Niall turns around and spoons out scrambled eggs onto the two plates along with two pieces of bacon.  It’s not until he’s poured orange juice into both of the glasses that Niall finally looks at Harry.  “What?”

“I’m a bit confused…” Harry says.

“It’s breakfast, Harry,” Niall says.  He sets the jug of orange juice on the counter and sits down.

Harry joins him moments later, still with a confused look as he takes a bit of the eggs.

“So’d you sleep okay?” Niall asks taking another bite of eggs.  “Sometimes I feel like that bed just swallows me whole.  Anyway, I still have to get some work done today,” Niall rambles on while he all but shovels the rest of the food in his mouth.  “But you’re welcome to stick around for a while if you want to just make sure you lock the door before you leave.” Niall wipes his mouth and slips off his chair, grabbing the juice from the counter and putting it back in the refrigerator. 

Niall disappears down the hallway and Harry hears the bedroom door close.  He chews slowly at his eggs, not exactly sure what to do.

Niall returns five minutes later with his hair done, shoes on, and coat hanging over his arm.  “So, I’ve got to take care of a few things today, guess whatever the lads did last night after I left didn’t work out as well as we thought it would, but like I said, you’re welcome to stay finish breakfast, kettle’s next to the stove and tea is in the cupboard above it if you want some.”  Niall puts on his coat, grabbing his keys and phone from the counter.

He’s over by the door, when he looks back at Harry.  “I’ll see you around. Had a lot of fun last night. Just uh, make sure you lock up before you go, yeah?”

Harry gives a quick nod and Niall smiles before he exits the flat.

 

As much as Harry wants to, he doesn’t snoop around Niall’s flat to try to find whatever the Irishman is trying to hide from him.  He simply finishes his breakfast, even does the dishes, putting them back in their respective cabinets, and leaves, making sure to lock the door behind him. 

He didn’t notice last night, but Niall has more extra locks on his front door than any normal person would.  However, Harry’s sure that a toddler could probably break into his own flat, with how old the locks are.

The walk back to his own flat doesn’t seem that bad until his nosey neighbor, Mrs. Clarkson catches him coming back.  She eyes him up as he sticks the key into the lock.  Harry knows he probably looks like a mess, but to have someone catch you looking like a mess is completely different. 

By the time he gets out of the shower, it’s almost 9am and he remembers that he still has to have the shop open 10.  He tried to scrub off any trace of the night before, but Niall’s laugh echoes through his mind.  He’s going to be a hard one to forget.

Harry’s thankful that it’s Sunday and the shop opens late and closes early.  He looks forward to settling into bed and watching TV for the rest of the night come 4pm. 

He flips the sign on the door to open and stands behind the counter, reading his book like he does every day. 

No one comes in, but Harry looks up to see, whom he thinks are the two men that were walking down the sidewalk yesterday, stop outside the shop and look in through the front window.  One of them is smaller in stature, with messy light brown hair, his hands buried in the pockets of his denim jacket.  The other one is a bit broader in the shoulders, hair mostly styled in the middle on top of his head and a leather jacket. 

The smaller one seems more interested in looking in the shop, until the one in the leather jacket pulls him away and they continue down the sidewalk.

Harry goes back to his book, but he finds him mind wandering.  He’s remembering bits and pieces of the night before.  That long chunk of time in between kissing Niall on his couch and then waking up naked in Niall’s bed.

It’s the softness he remembers most.  Being in utter awe of how soft Niall’s skin was beneath his fingertips; so soft that he couldn’t help but trace every bit of the blonde’s body.  Moving his hands slowly up Niall’s sides, the taste of wine breathing back and forth between them. Harry remembers positioning himself between Niall’s legs and Niall giggling as Harry started placing small kisses down Niall’s neck and chest.

The bell above the door rings and Harry is ripped from the memory.  Two large men enter the shop and Harry freezes when he recognizes them as the two guys that were chasing after Niall.

“Can I help you?” Harry asks.  He’s happy that when the words come out of his mouth that they don’t sound shaky.

“Just browsing,” one of the men says, but Harry’s pretty sure that’s not why they’re here.

As much as Niall and all of his possible secrets, worry Harry, these guys worry him far more.  He watches intently as the two men meander around the shop, hardly even looking at the shelves.  Harry could tell who the die-hards were, they would come in and cock their heads to the side, trying to read each and every book title, but if Harry didn’t know any better, he’d say that these guys looked like they were casing the place.

They walk out without saying a word and Harry has half a sense just to lock up for the day, but that might cause an even bigger problem if they think he’s hiding something or someone.  Harry does the only thing he can do and he texts Niall.

_Those guys chasing you yesterday came into the shop._

He feels stupid texting Niall, but if the guys were looking for the Irishman, then Harry should give him a heads up.

It’s only moments later when Harry’s phone starts buzzing, seeing Niall’s name pop up on the screen. 

He doesn’t have time to say anything before Niall starts in right away on the other end.

“Harry? Are you okay? Are they still there? Did they say anything to you?” Niall’s voice is almost frantic, making Harry start to worry even more.

“I’m fine. They came in walked around for a little, then left.”

He hears Niall yell something, probably talking to someone else.

“I just thought you should know,” Harry starts talking again.  “Really Niall, I don’t think it’s a big deal.  I mean they’re gone, so—”

“Harry, someone’s going to come by the shop and check things out, okay?” Niall says.

“I don’t really think that’s necessary.”

“Harry, just humor me, okay? My friend is coming by, his name is Liam, he’s just going to have a look around. If those come back in the meantime, just give me a call, okay?”

“Okay,” Harry replies.  He doesn’t really get what the big deal is and if this Liam guy tries to stay and babysit him, Harry’s going to lose it.  He hangs up before Niall can say anything else.

 

Harry’s rearranging books in the fantasy section when the bell above the door rings. He peers out from the shelves and sees the guy with the leather jacket from earlier.

The guy catches Harry looking and smiles. “You much be Harry,” he says walking forward and he shakes Harry’s hand. 

“I’m guessing you’re Liam?” Harry says. 

“Yeah, Niall just wants to make sure that those guys didn’t mess with anything,” Liam says and he starts looking through the shelves.

“Well, when you see Niall again, you can tell him that I don’t need him to send people here to babysit me or watch me through the front window like you and that other bloke were this morning.”  Harry starts walking back to the front area to stand at the register.

“You saw us?” Liam asks bashfully.

“Yeah,” Harry stops and turns to face Liam. “And I don’t know what you all are into but after this, I never want to see any of you near this place again.  Never had any problems here until Niall, the unlucky leprechaun ran into my store.”

“Fair enough, mate, but us looking in the window this morning had nothing to do with those guys coming in here. Niall told us about running in here and said that the lad that the Hollands found to run the store seemed like a pretty good guy.”

“A pretty good guy,” Harry mocks. “Sales? Security? Just tell Niall that this pretty good guy doesn’t want anything to do with him.” Harry turns back and takes his place behind the counter, but he hears Liam sigh.

Did he have a nice time last night? Yes.  Was he ready to get caught up in Niall’s shit? No.

About ten minutes later, Liam emerges from the rows of shelves.  “Everything looks good, but still think it might be a good idea if someone was here with you, at least for the next couple of days.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “I don’t need a babysitter, and if those guys come back, I’ll just tell them that I don’t know you or Niall at all, he was just some random bloke that ran into the shop and I never saw him again.”

Liam sighs again and shakes his head.  “You shouldn’t let this get in the way of being friends with Niall.  He’s not a bad guy and I don’t know how much you really do know him but he seems to really like you.”

“If he likes me, he’ll leave me alone.” Harry says.

Liam opens his mouth to say something else but decides against it.  He just shakes his head again and walks out the door.

Harry calls Greg to tell him to wait to come back in to update the books until Wednesday.  Contrary to Liam’s advice, if someone comes into the shop, Harry doesn’t want someone other than him getting caught in the crossfire.  This was his mess and his responsibility.

He closes up shop at 4pm, only a couple people even came in after Liam left, so there wasn’t much to have to set up the next morning.

 

Niall calls a few more times after Harry gets back to his flat just a block away from the bookstore.  He leaves messages asking Harry to call him back and that Liam told him what Harry said, but Harry doesn’t care, he’ll just add Niall to the list of one-night stands that never went anywhere and that he’d rather forget altogether.  He leaves his phone out in his tiny kitchen to charge when he goes to bed.

 

He walks to work the next morning and realizes that forgetting about Niall is going to be a lot harder than he thought, especially since Niall was waiting for him outside the shop.

Before Niall can get a word out Harry starts in on him.  “I told your friend that I don’t want you around here, you call me eight times in one afternoon, what more of a hint do you need so that you actually go away?” Harry unlocks the door and lets himself in but lets it close on Niall, making the Irishman almost run into it.

“How many hints do I have to give you until you realize that I like you and that I’m sticking around?” Niall fires back.  “I don’t just make breakfast for anyone; I don’t have people come by to make sure that just anyone is okay—”

“Yeah, well, I don’t let people who lie to me and make me fear for my life stick around, Niall, so just leave me alone.”

“When did I lie to you?”

“You said you do sales and security, Niall. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t involve having huge guys chase you through the streets, I’m pretty sure that doesn’t involve having those same men continue to look for you and that sure as hell doesn’t involve you having to send some other guy in here to check on me.”

Niall shakes his head.  “Harry, there are some things you’re better off not knowing about, and I barely even knew you so of course I didn’t tell you the whole truth.  I’m not stupid, Harry. I keep the truth to meself because if too much of it gets out people start getting hurt.”

“You should’ve just left, Niall.  You should’ve just left after you hid here.  That’s how you keep people safe. You keep them out of your life altogether.”

“You really want me to leave?” Niall says after a minute.

“Yes.”  Harry doesn’t look up, but he can hear the bell chime over the door and he knows the shop is empty.

A group of teenagers come into the store and practically clear out the entire Hemmingway section, making Harry spend most of the day rearranging the shelves and he makes a note to go through the storage area in the back of the shop when Greg comes in on Wednesday to see if they have more Hemmingway or something similar to fill the empty spaces on the shelves.

He goes back to standing behind the counter but he can’t bring himself to read from _In Cold Blood_.  It felt wrong for some reason now, maybe he’ll find something worth reading when he goes through storage.

 

Greg comes in Wednesday morning giving Harry the opportunity to go through the books they keep in the back.  It was one of Mr. Holland’s rules, can’t go in the back area unless someone else is in the front or if the store was closed…which Harry totally understood; it was a good rule.

He finds a couple more copies of Hemmingway books.  He flips through them to check their condition before he writes the price on a sicker and puts in on the inside cover.

“Harry?” Greg pokes his head into the room, “Some guys are asking for you out front.”

Harry looks at Greg curiously but grabs the stack of books and follows Greg back out to the main shop area. He almost drops the books when he sees who’s there.  It’s the two large men who were looking for Niall.

“C-Can I help you?” Harry manages to say. He sets the books on the counter and looks up at the men.

“We have a private matter to discuss,” one of them says looking at Greg.

“Oh uh,” Greg stutters, he looks at Harry.

“It’s fine,” Harry says to Greg.  “I’ll see you Saturday.”

Greg grabs his bag tentatively and slowly walks out of the store, giving one last look at Harry, who just smiles and waves him off.

When Greg disappears down the street, Harry’s attention goes back to the men in front of him.

“You know,” the one starts to say. “We were in here the other day just to have a look around.” The other man with him turns the sign on the door to closed and starts moving toward the shelves.  “Innocent really, and yet once we left, we saw another man come in here, and well we thought that was a little funny since that man is friends with another man that may or may not have hid from us in this very shop less than a week ago.”

“People come and go,” Harry starts to say. “I haven’t lived here long, I don’t really know too many people.”

“But I bet you’d remember a man hiding in your bookstore,” the man insists. “Especially when that same man waits outside for you to open the doors first thing in the morning.” The other guy knocks over a stack of books sitting on a chair next to the shelves.  Then one by one he starts pulling books off the shelves and throwing them on the floor.

“He came by to thank me for letting him hide out,” Harry lies.  “I told him I didn’t want to get caught up in whatever he was doing and I told him not to come back here.”  It wasn’t a total lie, but Harry just wanted these guys gone.

“Fair enough, but see, that Irish fuck has something of ours and well, if he thought we might still be after him, it would only make sense that he would hide it…here.”

The other guys tips one of the shelves, sending all the books to the floor.

“I didn’t see him hide anything.” Harry says.  “He wasn’t even here for that long.”

More crashing noises come from further back in the shelves. 

“There’s really no reason for that,” Harry says in reference to the books on the floor.

“Look kid, old-man Holland knew better than to pick sides, a lesson that I guess he forgot to pass on, so I’ll do the honors.” The man grabs violently at Harry’s shirt and pulls him forward so they are face to face, he grabs Harry’s arm next pulling it taut over the top of the counter.  “If that fucking leprechaun or any of his fuck buddies come in here, even if they’re just looking for a copy of _Sherlock Holmes_ , you refuse service and tell ‘em to fuck off. This isn’t their territory and they should know better than to hang around here.” Harry hears a loud crash, followed by breaking glass and the man lets go of his arm.

The other one emerges from the shelves.  “You have a nice day,” the man says as he turns the sign on the door back to ‘open’.  The bell rings and it’s only after the men disappear down the sidewalk that Harry’s able to breathe again.

He takes a moment, rubbing at the red handprint on his arm, before he walks over to the shelves.  The books are scattered all over the floor and the green and clear shards of the antique lamp cover the floor near the back shelves.  He picks up the fallen bookshelf first, putting it back into its place. 

Knowing he doesn’t want any customers seeing the mess, Harry reluctantly flips the sign back to ‘closed’ and locks the front door while he tries to get everything cleaned up.

 

The store is straightened up enough to open it back up for a couple hours before the end of the day. A large Band-Aid covering his index finger where he cut it on the broken glass from the lamp; he’ll have to pay for that out of pocket.  A young girl and her mother come in and buy a couple of picture books and it’s not long before Harry is locking the store back up, but with the sinking feeling of not being able to go home just yet.

Harry walks past his building and to the grocery store a few blocks away.  The sun starts to set as he walks in and Harry grabs a basket to get the few items he needs. 

He’s almost done, standing there in the dairy aisle staring blankly at the shelves of milk.  He plays the entire scene from earlier in the day in his head.  The look in the man’s eyes when he pulled at Harry’s shirt, the mark on his arm that was already beginning to bruise.

“Harry?” He hears the familiar Irish accent behind him.

Harry turns to see Niall standing behind him with his own basket of food.  His eyes are soft with a hint of worry as he looks at Harry.  “Are you alright?” he asks stepping forward, but Harry diverges and grabs whatever milk is closest.

“I’m fine,” he sniffs and tries to walk past Niall. 

Niall reaches his hand out, catching Harry at the wrist, but Harry winches and pulls away, which only makes Niall worry more.

The blonde gently takes Harry’s hand and examines the bruises and the Band-Aid.  “Harry, what happened?”

Harry shakes his head.  “It’s nothing,” he says pulling his arm away.

Niall stops and looks at Harry.  “Did those guys come back?” he asks, but he already knows the answer to that.  “I’m so sorry, Harry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I swear. Did they say anything? Did they threaten you?”

“Just said to tell you that it’s not your territory...I can’t do this, Niall. I should’ve guessed that when you ran into the shop that day that nothing good would come from it. I’ve know you less than a week and you’ve already let so much shit fuck up my life.  So, just leave me alone.” Harry says pointedly.  He walks off toward the registers.

He gets outside with his bags and it’s already dark.  He can see the slightest hint of the sunset in the distance.  The shop doors open behind him.

“Harry, wait.” Niall jogs up to him.  “Look I’m sorry and I know that doesn’t mean much to you but I can’t just leave you alone either.  This whole thing is more complicated than just you and me. I can tell you everything I can and maybe you can understand all of this enough to keep yourself safe or I can leave you alone here and now we can lose each other’s numbers and be done with all of this, but then I can’t help you with these guys either.” 

Harry shakes his head.  “Wish you never ran into the shop.”

“If I knew this was going to happen…I would’ve kept running.”  Niall says.  “I just…that night we had dinner, I haven’t laughed like that in ages and when we had sex, blame it on the wine, but I was happy when you were still there when I woke up.  The shit that I deal with every day, I don’t get to have nice nights like that.  I don’t get to meet people who don’t automatically judge me.  People around here know what I do and when I met you it was like I got to have some normalcy for once, only once it was over I didn’t want it to be some one-night stand.  I liked you, Harry.”

Harry wants the same thing in that moment, only he can’t.  Niall’s life was destroying something that wasn’t Harry’s to break.

“Tell me everything and I’ll decide the other part of things afterward.”  Harry starts walking in the direction of his flat while Niall stands there dumbfounded for a second before he follows after him.

 

“I’m not even sure where to start,” Niall admits. 

“Start with telling me who those two guys are and what they mean by ‘territory’. And what kind of shit you’re wrapped up in,” Harry says trying to keep a calm tone.

“I’m part of an organization that started in Ireland, I joined when I was sixteen, just doing small stuff; running messages back and forth that sort of thing.  Bressie, a lad from Mullingar that was already in it, looked out for me. It started off being this group that just kept other groups in check, making sure that medical supplies and things like that got to the right people, and then things got bigger and the organization got more involved in the less legal side of things.  Running stuff from one area to another.  The guys that are in charge of the group decided to branch out to cut out a middle man, so they established a secondary territory in London, known as the London Irish Crew or L.I.C.  I was eighteen and I didn’t really think about it when they asked for some of us to volunteer to make the move.  Bressie made the move with me and I worked under him.  But the group that was acting as a middle man didn’t like us coming in very much so we got rid of them.  Tore down their entire operation in a matter of months. 

“Those guys from the store, Marcus and Eddie, are part of an organization based in London, the Roundhousers.  A stupid name, but they basically had their hands in everything.  We moved in and took out that other crew and there was a lot of tension there. High ups of both the groups had a sit down after things started getting out of hand to draw up boarders within the city.”

“So where does the bookstore fit in to all that? They said it wasn’t your territory,” Harry asks.

“That’s the thing, the bookstore, that entire lane is basically neutral ground.  A lot of the businesses there are old, they didn’t respond to intimidation and the two groups decided that neither side would own that area.”

“And then you hid in there and fucked it all up,” Harry says harshly.

“Pretty much,” Niall says quietly. 

“Mr. Holland, you said you did security for him.  If the bookstore is neutral ground then how does that work?”

“Pretty much the same situation as we have now, but originally the truce said that we couldn’t partake in club activity or engage with the other group on that turf.  Couple of younger members of our group, English boys, went into the bookstore and were confronted by some guys from their group.  Bressie sent me in to calm things down.”

“So now what happens to the store? They think I helped you break whatever truce you had.”

“What happens now is that you go to work and act like nothing is different,” Niall says as they walk up the stairs to Harry’s flat.  “As far as they know, you don’t know any of this.  Things might get rough for a while, but I’ll do everything I can to make sure that nothing happens to you or the store.  To be honest, this has been a long time coming, there’s been a lot of tension lately, and you got caught up in the middle of it because of me.”

Harry didn’t really think much of showing Niall where he lived until they were already inside the flat. 

“How bad is it going to get?” Harry asks as he sets the grocery bags down on the kitchen counter.

“Either they will back off and we go back to the territories marked out by the truce or they try to move in on that territory saying that we were the ones that broke the truce and things get a little more violent.”

Harry doesn’t say anything as he puts away the groceries.

“I am sorry, Harry…for all of this.”

The cupboard slams shut and Niall shutters slightly at the sound.

“Was it important?” Harry asks looking at Niall.  “Was whatever you took from them important?”

Niall nods.  “Wasn’t theirs in the first place.”

Harry turns and closes his eyes, breathing in slowly.  “You promise me that whenever the Hollands get back that they will still have a store to get back to.”

“I promise. Nothing happens to the store or to you.”

Maybe it was the fact that the Hollands entrusted Harry with the store that it made him not care as much about his own wellbeing.  Anything that broke in the store today would have to be replaced and Harry was ready to pay for that. He let this all happen and it was his job to clean up the mess and like Niall said, pretend like nothing is wrong.     

“Fine.” Harry says.  “Do whatever you have to do.”

 

Harry can’t sleep that night.  He plays the scenarios over in his head of what could happen.  All of Niall’s talk about territories and the possibility of things getting violent make Harry very nervous. He tosses and turns in bed until he gives up and goes out to the small couch.  He eyes through his collections of albums on the shelves next to the window, his Fleetwood Mac CDs make his heart sinks and he contemplates getting rid of them until they stop reminding him of Niall.

Harry goes to the kitchen to make tea instead. He tries to put the albums out of his head but it’s not long before he has “Landslide” stuck in his head.  The taste of the song on his tongue as the lyrics unconsciously escape his lips is bitter. 

When his tea was ready, he walks back over to the couch.

_“Well, I've been afraid of changin'”_

The lyrics run through his mind over and over.  Playing on a loop as his sips on his tea, which is too hot, but he doesn’t care as it burns his mouth.  Maybe it would burn away the song…burn away Niall.

Harry sets the empty mug on the tiny end table and goes over to kneel in front of his shelves of music.  One by one he pulls the Fleetwood Mac albums from the lineup, and when they are all stacked on the floor, Harry picks them up and drops them into the small trash bin next to the couch.

He shakes his head looking down at the discarded CDs, he can feel the tears escape his eyes, but he wipes them away.  No more tears for Niall Horan.

 

Harry goes to open the shop the in the morning.  He didn’t go back to sleep after he discarded Fleetwood Mac into the trash bin.  He leaves early and walks up the street, beyond the bookstore, to the antique shop on the corner. 

He browses through the multitudes of chairs, tables, figurines, until he finds what he’s looking for.  A green lamp similar to the one that became the first real casualty in the gang turf war in the bookstore.  Harry looks at the price tag and sighs.  ₤65…

Harry picks up the lamp and carries it to the front counter.  Happy that he bought groceries the day before, because he’d have to ration it out to last two weeks now.  He couldn’t bare the thought of taking the money from the bookshop when it was his fault that those guys were in there breaking things in the first place.  He handed the man the money and walked slowly back to the bookstore with the replacement lamp.   

Harry set up the lamp where the old one used to sit, wondering if Mr. Holland would even see the subtle differences from the old lamp to this one.

 

 

Harry goes about business as usual, but notices the increasing noise happening in the area around the shop, especially at night.

Harry closes up the bookstore for over a week after the men came into the shop and Niall said he would take care of things.  He rounds the corner and sees the same two large men standing in front of the entrance to his building.  Harry quickly backs up so he’s out of sight and takes out his phone.  His fingers shake slightly as he finds Niall’s number in his contacts.

“Harry?” Niall says as soon as he picks up.

“They’re outside my flat,” Harry says quietly.

“What?”

“The two guys from the shop, they’re standing outside my building.”

“It’s going to be okay Harry,” Niall says in a calm tone.  “Do you know where the hardware store is?”

Harry nods and adds a faint, “Yes”. 

“Alright, go up there and I’ll come get you.  Just wait in the store, okay?”

“Okay,” Harry says and he hangs up the phone and starts making his way up the street back toward the bookstore. 

He keeps checking over his shoulder, waiting to catch a glimpse of one of the large men.  He rounds the corner and he can see the front of the hardware store.  He’s tired and he just wants to go home and sleep in his crappy little bed.

Harry gets to the hardware store.  Pacing up and down the aisles pretending to look at things on the racks while occasionally peeking out the storefront, making sure he wasn’t followed.

He looks up when the bell over the door chimes and sees Niall walking into the store, his eyes looking feverishly around until he sees Harry.  He sighs in relief.

“You okay?” Niall says in a quiet tone, stepping toward Harry.

“’m fine.”

“Harry, I’m so sorry—”

“The more you say that, the less I believe you,” Harry says flatly.

“Well, at least let me get you somewhere safe…” Niall gestures toward the door.

Harry follows Niall back outside where there’s a black Range Rover parked out front. 

“Since when do you have a car?” Harry asks, when Niall presses the key fob to unlock it.

“Bressie’s…let me borrow it for the time being.” Niall gets into the driver’s seat.  “’m gonna take you back to mine, should be safe there while I try to work something out.”

“Should be?” Harry questions looking over from the passenger’s seat as they drive toward Niall’s flat.

“I just mean, that not too many people know where I live, so they shouldn’t be able to find you if they go looking for you when they realize you’re not coming home.”

“I don’t need to be babysat.” Harry looks out the window.

There’s a pause before Niall shakes his head and says loudly. “Well, I hate to break it to you Harry, but you do, and if it’s not me babysitting you than you can let Marcus and Eddie babysit you and hope you last the night.  I know this is fucked up and I’ve apologized multiple times for that, but I feel guilty enough without you looking like you’d rather jump off a bridge than ever see me again. So, suck it up, ‘cause whether you like it or not, we are in this together.”

There’s a silence between the two boys and Harry stares out the window for the remainder of the ride.  He’s sure that those two guys probably would have beaten him up or even killed him had he gone home, but he hates feeling helpless.  He hates that compared to what Niall could probably do to them, Harry wouldn’t even leave a bruise.

They arrive at Niall’s apartment, locking the door behind them as they stepped inside.  “You can sleep in my room. I can try to find something you can wear—”

“I don’t want to kick you out of your bed Niall,” Harry says with a sigh. “I can sleep on the couch, it’s fine.”

“Just take the bed, Harry; I gotta deal with this stuff, so I won’t be getting much sleep tonight anyway.”

Harry sighs, but gives in and follows Niall into the bedroom.

“I can lend ya something to wear and I can throw in a load of laundry so you have your own clothes to wear tomorrow,” Niall says riffling through his dresser.  He places a pair of joggers and a t-shirt on the bed.  “You can take a shower if you want, towels are in the closet in the hallway.

Niall leaves Harry in the bedroom and goes back out to the main room. 

Harry looks toward the bathroom, maybe taking a shower would help, he thinks. 

He makes it to the doorway, when he hears Niall talking on the phone to someone.

“No, he’s fine, he’s here with me,” Niall says. “Well he wasn’t happy about it, if that’s what you’re asking.” There’s a pause before Niall speaks again. “This shit’s gone on long enough, it needs to be dealt with….Yeah, I care about him…Do whatever you gotta do, Louis…yeah, I’m sure.  Call me when it’s done.”

Harry hears Niall sigh, and the floor squeaks under his feet as he takes a step out into the hallway. 

Niall turns at the noise. “Hey,” he tries to wipe the concerned look on his face when he sees Harry.

“Was just getting a towel for the shower,” Harry says.

“Oh uh, yeah course…uh shower is probably a good idea. I can try and find something to eat for when you get out.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Harry tries to say, but Niall just waves him off.

“No, it’s fine, take your shower, I’ve got everything handled.” Niall turns toward the kitchen.

 

Harry comes back out to the main room with wet hair wearing the joggers and the Eagles t-shirt he left out for him.  There’s a pizza sitting on the top of the stove, but Niall’s nowhere to be found. 

Harry takes a slice off the hot tray and sits down at the island, a note leaning against an empty cup. _Had to run out. Don’t open the door for anyone. –Niall_

 

He feels bad crawling into Niall’s bed.  The Irishman hadn’t come back yet, but Harry’s tired.  The sheets feel even softer than the last time he slept in Niall’s bed.  He feels like an intruder, lying there in Niall’s flat, bed, and clothes without Niall there.

Harry dreams that he’s at the bookshop, going through the back storage area.  He feels like he’s crunched for time, trying to find a book he could have sworn was just in his hand.  The bell over the door chimes and he can feel the presence of someone standing behind him, but he doesn’t want to turn to see who it is.  He hears a voice call out his name—it sounds like Niall—but it’s too late; he feels the white-hot sensation run through his back. Niall calls his name again.

Harry wakes up and he sees the small stream of light coming into the bedroom.  He watches as Niall tiptoes across the room toward the dresser.

“You don’t have to sneak around in your own flat,” Harry says with a groggy voice and Niall closes the drawer and turns to face Harry.

“Didn’t want to wake you,” Niall says quietly.  He walks closer to the bed.

“Actually wish you’d come in a bit sooner,” Harry says sitting up in bed.

“Bad dream?”

Harry laughs to himself. “You could say that.”  His fingers busy themselves with the edge of one of the blankets.

“This is all gonna be over soon,” Niall says.  He comes over and sits on the edge of the bed next to Harry. He looks down at his hands.  “I feel…I feel like I don’t really know what I’m doin’, if I’m being honest.  Just feel like I’ve fucked everything up.” 

Harry watches as Niall’s shoulders hunch and his head hangs low.  He doubts that Niall got much sleep last night, if any at all. 

Harry pulls himself up and scooches over on the bed so he’s right next to Niall.  He doesn’t know what to say as he watches for any sign of happiness on Niall’s face, but it’s not there.

“I’m sorry, Niall,” Harry whispers softly.  Niall turns to look at him but Harry closes the space between them, pressing his lips to Niall’s.

It takes a moment for Niall to give in, his hand sliding from the back of Harry’s neck, holding them together and then sliding down to Harry’s waist. 

Harry’s head hits the pillow as Niall’s positions himself over top of him, working his lips needily against Harry’s, until Harry flips Niall so he’s on top, straddling one of Niall’s legs. Hips grinding against Niall’s.

They stop just long enough for Harry to help Niall take off his shirt while Niall’s hands run up Harry’s sides under the thin fabric of his shirt.

Harry kisses down Niall’s neck to his chest then reconnects their lips as his hands move lower until they rest at the waistline of Niall’s pants.  Harry’s fingers start pulling down the fabric when he stops abruptly and looks at Niall.

He hovers over Niall, breathing heavily before he rolls off and Niall quickly sits up.

“’m sorry…I shouldn’t have done that,” Harry says quickly. “That wasn’t fair to you, I’m so sorry.” Harry can’t look at him.

Niall reaches for his discarded shirt and hops off the bed as quickly as possible, pulling his shirt back on.  “It’s not your fault, I let you do it,” Niall says grabbing the clothes he came in the room for.  Niall quickly gathers himself and goes out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Harry sighs, closes his eyes as he shakes his head.  He lays back down on the bed.  He stays like that for a while, as he listens for the front door to open and close, signaling that Niall had left.  Harry wasn’t ready to face him.

 

He stays in the room a while longer to make sure that he was alone.  He gets out of bed and pads across the room to the door, opening it just a crack, peering out to make sure Niall is gone.

He walks out to the main area, but stops when he sees messy brunette hair from the back of the couch.

“Who are you?” Harry says in a low tone.

The brunette doesn’t move.  “I don’t know what you did to him…” Harry sees him turn the page of the magazine in his hands.  “But it must have been something.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Harry says, slightly annoyed.

“But it tells you why I’m here,” the brunette sets down the magazine and stands up from the couch to face Harry. “Me name’s Louis.”

“You were the one spying on me with the other one...”

“Yeah, Liam—not as much fun as me, bit nicer as well,” Louis says.

“Do you have a problem with me or something? Did Niall leave you here to babysit me?”

“I hope we don’t have a problem,” Louis says ignoring the tone in Harry’s voice. “And yeah, if you want to look at it as babysitting, you can.”

Harry turns, shaking his head.

“Look, mate,” Louis starts.  “If you keep looking at this as babysitting and not us trying to keep you safe from the two guys that are looking to skin you then that’s up to you, but Niall’s not a bad guy.  He’s just trying to sort this all out and it would probably be a bit easier if you’d give him a bit of slack.  He’s out there risking his neck for you and if you ask me, he shouldn’t be. I don’t know what happened this morning between the two of you, but Niall’s not in the right headspace to be dealing with this shit.”

Harry’s head drops, he doesn’t want Louis to see the tears welling up in his eyes, thinking about what happened that morning.

“What did happen this morning?” Louis questions, staring curiously at Harry.

Harry wipes his face.  “This whole thing has just been…it’s been a bit confusing.” Harry goes over and sits in one of the lounge chairs beside the sofa. 

“Niall didn’t tell us everything, but he told us enough,” Louis says calmly as he sits back down on the couch.  “That’s how happy he was about you…he couldn’t stop smiling, but when you called and said those guys came into the store, everything came crashing down.  The little bit of normalcy he thought he might have with you dissipated.” Louis pauses.  “So, I have to ask the question of whether or not you’re giving him a hard time because you don’t like him or because you don’t like what he does?”

Harry thinks for a moment and shakes his head.  “I don’t know that I can be so selfish to say I like _him_ , because what he does put something that isn’t mine, at risk.”

“But you do like him?”

“I think we both had a bit of normalcy that evening…”

 

Louis gets a call and leaves about an hour later, leaving Harry there by himself again.  He spends the rest of the evening reading _In Cold Blood_ , happy that he brought it with him when he left work. 

He manages his way around Niall’s kitchen and makes enough food for the both of them, but Niall doesn’t come back, so Harry packs up the leftovers and puts them in the refrigerator.

He’s getting bored of being stuck in Niall’s flat.  There isn’t a lot to do other than watch tv and listen to music and Harry wonders what Niall does for fun in his own home. 

Niall’s texts him to check in around 10pm.  Harry goes to sleep on the couch, trying to avoid the bedroom.

 

Niall shakes Harry awake in the early morning before it’s even light out.  “Go sleep in the bed, Harry,” Niall says softly.  “This couch is gonna kill you back, come on.” 

Harry sits up groggily and Niall ushers him into the bedroom and pulls the blankets up over him once Harry lies down. “That couch is going to kill your back,” Harry says with a raspy voice when Niall heads toward the bedroom door.

“Go back to sleep, Harry.”

“Just sleep in the bed, Niall.  Please.”  Harry closes his eyes; he doesn’t want to fight Niall anymore.  He hears the door close, and much to his surprise, he feels the bed move beside him as Niall climbs in under the covers.

 

Harry wakes up when it’s light out and he hears a soft snore come from the other side of the bed, taking comfort in the fact that Niall is still there.  He lies there for a while, just listening to Niall’s breathing, scared to move and wake up the poor tired blond.

About twenty minutes later, Niall’s breathing hitches and he stretches out allowing the softest noise to escape his lips, making Harry smile facing away from him.  Harry glances slightly over at Niall, and sees the Irishman’s bright blue eyes blinking away the sleep.

“I’m sorry,” Harry says, once again facing away from Niall.

“You’ve got nothing te be sorry for,” Niall says rolling onto his back. 

Harry rolls over so he’s facing Niall.  “I haven’t made this easy for you.  This whole thing is just a bit…scary.”

“What thing? The two guys trying to kill you or me and you?”

“Both?” Harry says with a small laugh and Niall lets out a breathy laugh.

 

They both finally roll out of bed and Niall let’s Harry take the first shower, while he goes to make some breakfast for the two of them.

Harry puts the clothes that Niall got out for him to wear, puts his wet hair back into a messy bun, and goes out into the main room, where Niall is on the phone with his back to Harry.

“Ye sure?” Niall says into the phone.  “No, Lou, I don’t question your methods, I just want to make sure yer not trying to pull some sick joke.”  “Yeah, I’ll tell him.  He’ll be happy he can finally go home.”  “Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

Niall hangs up the phone and turns to see Harry standing there. 

“Good news?” Harry questions softly.

“Yeah, everything’s been taken care of.  You don’t have to worry about those guys coming back,” Niall says.  He turns and flicks on one of the burners, pancake batter sitting in a bowl next to him.  “I just put your clothes in the wash so we still have time to eat before you can leave.”

Harry doesn’t say anything as he goes over and sits at the island while Niall makes breakfast.

“I don’t really know what to say,” Harry begins after a few minutes of silence.

“There’s nothing to say, Harry. I told ya I was going to fix all of this and then you get to go back to your normal life.”

“What if I don’t want to?” Harry says quietly.

Niall puts a couple of pancakes on the plate in front of Harry.  “Trust me, Harry.  That’s what you want.  After laundry is done, I’ll give you a ride back to yours,” Niall says turning back to the stovetop.

“I’d rather walk,” Harry says quietly.

“Then I’ll walk with you.” Niall says it as more of a statement than an option and Harry doesn’t argue with him.

 

“You can lose my number, if you want to,” Niall says casually, staring down at the ground when they make it to Harry’s flat.  “This whole thing has been fucked up and I wouldn’t blame ya…”

Harry doesn’t say anything at first and Niall starts to walk away. 

“Do you wanna come in?” Harry asks looking at Niall. 

Maybe he wasn’t ready to let go just yet.

 

 

The next morning, Harry’s back at work, moving around the non-fiction section when the bell chimes over the door.  He emerges from the shelves, to see an angry Louis staring at him.

“What the fuck did you say to him?” Louis spits out.  “After the conversation we had the other day, I didn’t think you would push him away like that. So, what the fuck did you say to him?”

Harry moves back toward the counter.  “I asked him if he wanted to come inside…” Harry says quietly and Louis looks at him with a confused expression.

“What?”

Harry sets down the books he’s carrying and sighs.  “He walked me back to my flat yesterday after everything was over, told me I could lose his number if I wanted, and I asked him if he wanted to come inside and he looked at me like I asked him for one of his kidneys.  He mumbled something about it not being a good idea and that I didn’t deserve that and that I was just being nice because of some hero complex thing he read about or something like that, I don’t know.  Then he just left.”

Louis’ face relaxes and he steps back. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I made his life a living hell and blamed him for it every step of the way. It makes perfect sense.”

“You both are such—” Louis makes a strangling gesture with his hands.  “I have to sit through vent session after vent session about how you each like each other, but how it’s already too fucked up to fix.  I call bullshit on both of you. Seriously, stop over thinking this and thinking about all the complicated shite, do you like Niall?”

“Louis…” Harry sighs. 

“Don’t Louis me,” he says back.  “Events of the last couple weeks aside, do you like Niall?”

Harry nods reluctantly.  “He’s too nice for his own good, he has good taste in music, he’s a great cook, and he actually laughs at my jokes…and I’m pretty sure his laugh cure cancer.”

Louis chuckles and nods. “I wouldn’t doubt it could.”  Louis looks at Harry.  “I can try to mend this, if that’s what you want.  ‘Cause I’m pretty sure it’s what he wants too, even if you end up just friends, I think it’s worth saving.”

Harry nods.

“Good, now that that’s settled, I have to go talk to Niall which in that case I hope he’s not carrying,” Louis says with a smirk.  He walks over to the door and turns back toward Harry.  “By the way, Niall must really like you, ‘cause from what I’m heard, your jokes are pretty shit.”  Louis smiles and exists the shop.

Harry goes about his business at the store but with constant thoughts of Niall going through his head.  Before it was just between the two of them, but Liam and now Louis seemed somewhat invested in what was going on between them.  He thinks that maybe this is it.  The two of them just needed an intermediary, someone to get them to stop being children. 

Harry’s not sure if that’s totally the case. Getting into even just a friendship with Niall came with the knowledge of what the Irishman does for a living.  Harry wonders if Niall’s ever beat someone senseless, shot someone, or killed someone.  His feelings for Niall shouldn’t even matter, but Harry can’t help it.  Niall’s bubbliness, humor, and general joy for life, make Harry think that the blond hasn’t done anything too horrible, but then he remembers Niall’s phone conversations with Louis, and Harry has little other choice than to think that even if Niall hasn’t done anything horrible, there was a possibility that Niall’s best friends have.

It’s a couple hours later when the bell rings over the door and Harry watches as Niall stumbles inside after being pushed in by Louis. Harry watches him peer over toward the storefront window, where Harry sees Louis giving Niall a harsh look while Liam stands behind him.

Niall walks up to the counter and takes one more quick glance out to his friends then finally looks at Harry.

“I talked to Lou,” he says quietly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Me too,” Harry replies back.

“The other night…when you asked me to come in, I just…I knew I already screwed things up for you and I didn’t want you thinking that you owed me in any way or if you felt bad or—”

“I want to start over,” Harry cuts in.

Niall looks at him.

“It all got complicated really quickly and it was over between us before anything got started.  After we slept together that first night, I tried to forget about you because I thought you were lying to me about something and now I know what that something is.  So fresh start, with all the cards out on the table, otherwise we’re going to end up doing this all over again.”

“You’d really do that?”

“As long as you promise not to lie to me,” Harry says.

“I promise, yeah, absolutely. No more lying,” Niall replies quickly. He looks at Harry and smiles and Harry can’t help but smile back. “So what do we do now?”

“Get reacquainted. Hi, I’m Harry,” he says stretching his hand over the counter toward the blonde.

“Niall,” the Irishman replies shaking Harry’s hand. 

“Pleasure.”

Niall laughs. “A right couple of weirdos, we are.”

“Probably a right couple of idiots,” Harry says, “but uh…”

“Do you wanna have dinner tomorrow night?” Niall cuts in. “Like a proper sit down dinner at a nice restaurant.  I’ll come by yours around 6 and walk there together?”

Harry smiles. “I’d like that.”

 

Harry and Niall walk side by side on their way to the restaurant, though Niall won’t tell him where they are going to eat.  They both dressed up a little more for the occasion. Harry in black trousers and a soft blue button down. Niall in pair of dark wash jeans and a red sweater.

“So where are you from?” Niall asks after their waiter hands them their menus.

The restaurant has a nice, soft atmosphere with low lighting and soft red cushions on the chairs.

“Cheshire, originally. Decided to do some traveling and just sort of ended up here.”

“What about family?”

“It’s just my sister and my mum, really. We talk every once in a while, they aren’t very happy with me leaving like that. What about you? You mentioned your dad once…”

“Yeah, mostly just me and him when I was growing up. My brother went with me mum when my parents got divorced. I don’t really stay in contact with them…not since I moved out here.  Figure it’s safer that way.”

The waiter comes back around and they order their food; Harry instinctually goes for one of the cheaper things on the menu. Between having to buy the replacement lamp and not being about to go to work for a couple days, his finances are starting to look a little scarce.

“I feel like I should ask about your favorite music but I feel like I already know that,” Niall says taking a sip of his water.

It dawns on Harry in that moment that his Fleetwood Mac CDs were still sitting in his trash bin in his flat.

“What was your first concert?” Niall asks.

“The Script, actually,” Harry answers.  “I was only like fifteen, but it was—”

“In February?”

“Yeah, how’d you know that?”

“Tommo, uh, Louis was at that concert. I remember him talking about it when we first met.” Niall laughs. “It’s just too weird.”

“England’s not a very big place, Niall.”

“No, it was something Liam said once about the three of us living our lives in sync. I mean, Liam and I were actually at the same footie match once. Opposite teams, but I guess in some weird way, maybe we were all supposed to meet up like this at some point.”

“You believe in fate?” Harry looks across the table at Niall.

“I think there are a lot of coincidences in life, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be grateful for where or how we ended up because of those coincidences. Like maybe life wasn’t pushing us toward each other but we went looking for each other instead.”

Harry nods. “I like that.”

 

“So what are your goals in all of this?” Harry asks as they walk back to his flat. “Like in the…” Harry makes a vague gesture.

Niall chuckles.  “Well, I don’t really want to be in it for the rest of me life…if that’s what you mean.  I want to get to a point where I can leave on good terms and just go back to Ireland…see me da again.”

“How long will that take?”

“I don’t think it’ll ever happen, if I’m being honest.  I miss me da like crazy, but I can’t leave Louis and Liam.  I’d worry about them too much and it wouldn’t be worth any of it if they weren’t there with me.  If I ever get out, I’d have to take them with me. Make some deal and get them out too.”

“You guys can’t just leave?”

Niall shakes his head. “Be near impossible.  And as much as I would love to go home, they’d come looking for me if I just up and left and that would put me da, Louis, Liam…everyone close to me in danger. Staying in it keeps everyone safer.”

“Everyone except you,” Harry says.

Niall shrugs. “I don’t hate it. Like it’s not all bad, but it’s definitely not as good as it used to be.”

They make it to Harry’s flat. 

“So, I’m not coming in this time either,” Niall says timidly.  “I’m sticking to what we promised. Doing things right this time.”

“I think that’s smart.”

“But you had a good time tonight, right?” Niall looks up at Harry.

“Yeah, it was nice getting to know the real you again.  Getting to know each other like we’re supposed to…”

“Good, I had a nice time too.” Niall shifts awkwardly on his feet, not sure what to do next.

“We should do this again,” Harry says breaking into Niall’s head. Harry leans down a little ways and kisses Niall on the cheek.

Niall instantly turns red as he tries to hide the smile on his face. “Good, yeah,” he looks up at Harry, “I’ll uh…I’ll call you.” Niall backs away and starts walking back down the sidewalk.  Harry watches as he disappears down the street heading back toward his own flat.

 

Harry and Niall go out for dinner again two days later and within two weeks, they’re part of each other’s schedules.

Tuesday afternoon, Niall stops in the bookstore for lunch. 

Harry hears the bell chime.  He’s standing on a latter rearranging stuff on the top of the shelves.

“Well, that’s not a bad view,” Niall says from behind him.

“Just give me a minute,” Harry says reaching for the figurine that toppled over.

“Oh, by all means,” Niall says. “Take your time.”

Harry looks over his shoulder at Niall, who’s staring at his ass. “So, what’s for lunch today?”

“Well, I can think of one thing I wouldn’t mind eating…”

Just then, the door chimes again, a little girl and her mother walk in and Harry climbs down from the latter, shaking his head at Niall as he goes to see if they need help finding anything.

“You should really be more careful,” Harry says to Niall after the mother and daughter leave.

“Don’t know what yer talking about.” Niall leans against the counter.

“I’m talking about you talking about eating my ass out in the middle—”

The bell chimes over the door again, but this time Louis and Liam walk in.

“In the middle of what, young Harold?” Louis asks walking toward the counter.

“Nothing,” Harry says quickly.

Niall chuckles. “And you said I needed to be more careful,” he says quietly.

“Well, whatever it is, it needs to wait ‘cause we need to borrow your boyfriend or boy toy, whichever you prefer, for a bit,” Louis says slapping a hand on Niall shoulder.

“Anything I need to worry about?” Harry asks. He peers behind Louis where Liam’s looking out the storefront window.

“Not at the moment, something came up on the other end of town,” Louis says.

Niall looks at Harry then to Louis.  “I’ll go with ya, just give me a moment, yeah?”

Louis nods. “No time for funny business, so hurry up. See you later, Harold.”

“Good-bye, Lou,” Harry deadpans.

Louis exits the store follow by Liam who gives a small wave before he goes out the door.

“Sorry about lunch,” Niall says once they’re gone.

“It’s fine,” Harry says smiling across the counter at Niall. 

“Make it up to you?”

“You better.”

“Alright, well I’ll text you later once I fix whatever’s going on,” Niall says heading for the door.  “By the way, I prefer boyfriend, if that’s okay with you?” Niall looks at Harry.

Harry’s heart flutters.  “That’s perfect.”

Niall smiles wide.  “Good. I’ll see you later, boyfriend.” Niall heads out the door.

A rush of cold air sweeps through the store from the outside. It was amazing how cold it got so quickly.  Harry wasn’t looking forward to going back to his flat with his lack of heat.  He’d gotten his rent in on time, but his utilities bill was another story.  He didn’t want to ask Niall for the money, but he knew that Niall wouldn’t think twice about giving him the cash. This was his own problem.  He felt bad about Niall always paying for their food so he grabbed the bill a couple of times and it was starting to put holes in Harry’s pockets.  He forgot how much money it costs to have a boyfriend, at least in the beginning phases in the relationship.

Boyfriend…Harry tried to focus on that little bit of information. Niall wants Harry to be his boyfriend and Harry wanted Niall to be his boyfriend too.  Somewhere in the midst of everything going on, they never defined their relationship.  Yeah, maybe they were already getting stuck in a routine, and according to Kierkegaard was what would destroy the romance and spontaneity of their relationship, but maybe it was different for them, because Niall’s day job occasionally had to do with “dealing” with people and that whole thing was spontaneous enough for the both of them.

It was the normalcy and the domesticated part of the whole situation that made Harry love it, even if him and Niall looked and sounded like an old couple. 

Harry kept looking up through the front windows every time someone walked by, hoping it was Niall coming back. 

Things had been quiet the last couple of weeks and Harry was grateful for it, though he wondered if it was just the calm before the storm and that something bigger is on its way.  Harry didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about everything getting all messed up again between him and Niall.

Harry helps a few more customers that walk into the store, but he keeps his phone close and his eyes watchful.  It made him uneasy when he knew Niall was in danger. In a lesser sense, he felt the same way about Louis and Liam too. The other two were growing on him and he knows how much they mean to Niall and how much Niall means to them.

 

 

“Are you going to leave here?” Louis asks. He’s sitting on the little bit of open space of the windowsill of the storefront windows, leaning against the frame. Louis called the shop about an hour earlier asking if he could come hang out for a while.  Harry was pretty sure that it had nothing to do with any club related business, but more or less that Louis was bored, tired, and had nothing better to do.

“I get off at 5, Lou,” Harry says bringing a stack of books out from the back, letting out a small cough.  He’d woken up that morning with a sore throat and was practically mainlining tea and orange juice into his system.

“No, I mean like, are you going to leave London?” Louis sits up and looks at Harry.

Harry shrugs. He hadn’t really thought about leaving at any point but he didn’t think about staying either.  “I don’t plan on just packing my stuff and leaving without notice, if that’s what you’re asking? I mean, maybe one day I’ll leave, but for now, I’m good.”

“Good,” Louis says leaning back again.

“What’s it to you anyway?”

Louis looks half-asleep when Harry looks over at him.

“Having you here’s been good. Liven up the place a bit.”

Harry doesn’t say anything at first, he just watches as Louis struggles to stay awake.  “Can I ask you a question, Lou?” Harry finds himself saying.

“Shoot.”

“Those guys…Marcus and Eddie...what did you do to them? I overheard Niall talking to you on the phone and—”

“Can you just trust me that you’re better off not knowing?” Louis says looking over at Harry.  “You don’t want to know what I did to them, you want to know if Niall’s ever done something like it…If I’m telling the truth here, I’ve only ever see Niall lose it once.  Scariest thing I’ve ever seen in me life.  It wasn’t part of the job, no one ordered him to do it, and the situation was simple.”  Louis picks up one of the books sitting next to him and starts leafing through the pages.  “Did you know that Liam has a bunch of scars on his chest and back?” Louis looks up at Harry, who shakes his head. “These guys took Liam, tried to get information out of him, tried to broker some deal with us… When Niall found out it was like someone else took over his body.  Liam is a part Niall’s family and Niall fights for his family, he protects them.”

Louis stands up walking toward the counter. “So if you want to know if Niall is capable of the same things that I’ve done, the answer is no.  Niall doesn’t do what he does because of some sense of duty or because of some rule or order. Niall does what he needs to do to keep his family safe. And I asked about you leaving because I think you’re becoming a part of his family…of our family.”

“Niall’s a good guy,” Harry says softly.

“One of the best.” Louis looks at Harry with tired eyes; he yawns.

“You know you can take a nap at mine if you need to?” Harry offers, but Louis waves him off.

“I’m fine,” Louis replies, fighting off another yawn. “Plus by the look of the bags under your eyes, your bed doesn’t seem that appealing.”

He wasn’t wrong. Harry was tired. Between looking after the store and hanging out with Niall, he wasn’t getting much sleep.  He and Niall still hadn’t had sex since the first time they had dinner before everything fell to shit, but now they just spend hours and hours talking and getting to know one another, that sometimes it’s almost three a.m. by the time he gets back to his own flat. 

Niall and Louis went out of town for some meeting that neither of them were very specific about but they said they’d be gone for about a week and Liam was stuck picking up the slack for the two of them back in London while they were gone. 

It’s the end of November and it’s too cold to enjoy going outside anymore.  The coldest it’s been in London in a long time and Harry’s flat is still without heat and he goes to bed every night wearing two of just about everything, but it wasn’t doing him much good.  It was still freezing cold.

Liam dropped by on Tuesday, when Harry only had a slight cough.  But the rest of the week dragged on and Harry felt worse and worse each day. He couldn’t take off work because he needed the money to be able to take care of himself and he didn’t know how long it would be and how long the store would be closed while he was sick.

 

Harry slugs his way to the shop Sunday morning, happy that it is a shorter work day but still tired and sick.

He’s hardly there an hour before he decides to sit on the floor behind the counter; he didn’t have enough energy to stand anymore.  He hears his phone vibrate on the counter, but he ignores it and tries to collect himself.

He wakes up slightly a while later when the bell chimes over the door.

“Harry?” he can hear Niall’s voice. 

“Maybe he’s in the lou?” Liam says.

Footsteps move closer to the counter. 

“Harry?” Niall’s voice is more frantic this time and suddenly Harry can feel Niall kneeling beside him; his hands on Harry’s cheek. “Harry? Hey…he’s boiling hot.”

“We need to get his temperature down,” Louis’ voice comes through in a haze.

“His flat’s just around the corner. Liam, help me get him up,” Niall says, he pulls the keys out of Harry’s pocket and tosses them to Louis.

Liam helps Niall get Harry up off the floor.

“He’s a bit lankier than he looks,” Liam says. “This is not going to be easy.”

“You have a better idea?” Niall asks.

“Yeah, I’ll just carry him.  Here, drop his arm.” Liam scoops up Harry in his arms.

“You got him?” Niall questions.

“Yeah I’m good, let’s go.”

Louis turns off the lights, switches the sign to closed, and locks the store behind them when they exist out the front.

They get up to Harry’s flat and Liam sets him down on the small couch and Niall goes in to turn on the shower.

“It’s fucking freezing in here,” Louis says.

“Can you help get him into the bath?”

Niall and Liam drape Harry’s arms over their shoulders and they work their way into the bathroom.  Niall takes off Harry’s boots and jumper.

“You’re not gonna like this Haz, but we gotta get your temperature down somehow.  Niall grabs Harry from behind under his arms and Liam helps he his feet in the tub.

The cold water hits them like a shock to the heart.  Niall holds Harry under the water. “It’s gonna be okay, Hazza.”

 

Harry wakes up and he’s in his bed.  It’s dark and warm and the warmth is the only thing that’s out of place in his own flat.

“Niall?” Harry manages to say.

“Harry?” but it’s Louis.  “Hey, uh… Niall just had to run out for a minute.  You need anything?”

“It’s warm…”

“We got here and it was freezing, but Niall took care of it,” Louis says and Harry feels the bed pull where Louis sits on the edge of it beside Harry.

“He shouldn’t have done that,” Harry says.

“Well, the doc’s pretty sure you have pneumonia so yeah, he should’ve done that. I mean, why didn’t you pay your bills?”

Harry sighs. “Couldn’t afford it.”

“You could’ve asked one of us for the money, Harry.”

“I’m too tired to fight about this…” Harry whispers as he rolls over in bed.

“Guess I’ll let you sleep.” Louis gets up and Harry hears the door close when he leaves.

 

This time when he wakes up, Harry knows that Niall’s the one in the dark room with him.  With the little bit of light coming in from the window, Harry can see the worried expression on Niall’s face where he sits slumped over in the chair.

“What time is it?” Harry chokes out and Niall looks over at him.

“The question you should be asking is what day it is?” Niall comes over and sits on the edge of the bed. “You’ve been out of it for a couple days now.  Though I watched you sleep walk into the lou to take a wee.” Niall chuckles.

“I need to go to work.”

“It’s all handled, Hazza,” Niall says resting a hand on Harry’s shoulder.  “We got someone running it while you’re getting better.”

“You’re letting a gangbanger run my bookshop?” Harry groans.  If he was more lucid he’d feel bad about pretty much calling Niall a gangbanger.

“No, she’s a friend. She used to date one of our guys before he up and left.  She knows what she’s doing; she used to work at the shop for the Hollands a few years ago.”

Niall goes to stand up but stops when Harry speaks.

“I’m gonna pay you back,” Harry says weakly.

“You know you don’t have to, Harry,” Niall says gently.  He brushes Harry’s hair out of his face so he can see his eyes.  “I know you’re going to insist, but I just want you to be happy and healthy, so if that means it takes you fifty years to pay me back, then so be it.  I think of it as making an investment in our future, as in a future where you’re still here and not a frozen Harry-sickle in your flat.”  Niall smiles and Harry can’t help but smile back.

 

 

A couple days later, Harry’s finally able to leave his bed longer than it takes to go to the bathroom, but that night, Niall lies in bed beside him while Top Chef plays quietly on the tv that Niall moved from the living room to the bedroom.

“I feel like you always have to save me,” Harry mumbles into Niall’s shoulder.

“I feel like I’m always making you unsafe,” Niall replies quietly.

“You didn’t get me sick, Niall.” Harry nuzzles his face into Niall’s neck and breathes in taking in Niall’s scent.

“Yeah, but without me, you would’ve been able to go to work and you could’ve payed your bills and you wouldn’t have gotten sick in the first place.”

“Please don’t blame yourself for this,” Harry says.  “You can’t protect me from being an idiot.  Louis was right, I should’ve just asked for help—“

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Niall laughs.

“My point is that I thought I’d be taking advantage of you if I asked for money.” Harry yawns. “I didn’t want to do that.”

Niall peers down at Harry next to him and looks at him for a moment, like he wants to say something, but he just looks back at the TV and rests his check on the top of Harry’s head.

 

 

A few days later, Harry’s finally up and walking around the flat.  He wakes up earlier than usual but he still feels exhausted as he makes himself a cup of tea and some toast.  There’s a knock at the door, which Harry finds strange since Niall had been just letting himself in and unfortunately Louis would do the same on occasion. Based on that, maybe it was Liam.

He opens the door to find Greg staring back at him with a worried expression.

“You look well,” Greg says.

Harry moves out of the way to let Greg into the flat. 

“I thought I might check in to see how you were feeling and when you might be coming back to the shop.”

“Probably a couple more days,” Harry says rubbing his eyes.

“Perrie said you weren’t well…I didn’t even know you knew her to be able to call her in like that,” Greg looks at Harry curiously.

“Uh did you want some tea?” Harry changes the subject moving back toward the kitchen.

“No, I’m good.” Greg follows him. “I wasn’t aware that you really knew anybody in town.  Must have been brutal being sick for almost two weeks without any help.”

Harry was going to laugh off the whole thing, when the front door opened and Niall walked in.

“You’re up early,” Niall says before he sees Greg standing there.

Greg turns, looking incredulously at Harry.  “Well I guess that fucking explains it,” Greg says under his breath, but Harry hears him.

Niall looks between Greg and Harry, trying to assess the situation. “Harry, maybe I should go…I’ll just leave the groceries on the couch.”  Niall sets down a couple bags and goes back out the door looking back at Harry with apologetic eyes.

As soon as the door closes, Greg looks back at Harry. “Are you stupid or something?  Is that what all this has been about the last few weeks? Telling me to come in on different days, closing the shop. And I guess that’s how you knew Perrie.  You know her boyfriend was one of those gangbangers until he got himself killed a couple years ago.  I wouldn’t doubt it if it was your new friend or one of his buddies that did the job. Hell, my mom, Harry.  I told you how the gang shit in this town almost got her killed and now I find out you’re best buddies with one of their top guys. The Hollands trusted you to run the store and you’ve put the entire business, the Hollands, and myself in danger!”

Harry’s head pounds against his skull.  “I didn’t know before…” Harry says quietly.

“What? You didn’t know that your new bestie is a fucking criminal! Probably a fucking murderer too!”

“Stop,” Harry turns away from Greg.

“That’s what he is, Harry. That’s what all of them are—”

“Shut up,” Harry says loudly turning back toward Greg.  “You don’t know anything about them,” he says in a calmer tone. 

Greg steps back looking at Harry with sad eyes.  “Oh, the number they’ve already done on you.”

“Get out,” Harry says pointedly.

“You know I have no choice but to tell the Hollands about this,” Greg says looking Harry in the eye.

“Maybe you wouldn’t have to if they told me first,” Harry deadpans. “Get the hell out of my flat.”

Greg turns and walks toward the door.  “I hope you know what you’re doing,” he says looking back at Harry. “Both of us get screwed over if things go south.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to you or the store,” Harry says pointedly.

Greg reaches for the door. “Hope you get well soon.” Greg leaves the flat, slamming the door behind him, and Harry listens for him going down the stairs before he can breathe again.

He goes over and sits on the couch putting his head between his knees.  Harry breathes in slowly. He can still feel the tightness in his chest and the inkling of a cough in his throat but in this moment, he feels more like he’s going to pass out.

The front door opens, he knows it’s Niall.

“Hazza?” Niall sits on the couch beside him putting a light hand on Harry’s back.

“’m fine,” Harry mumbles.

“What can I do to help?” Niall asks rubbing small circles on Harry’s back.

“I don’t feel very well. I just want to go back to bed,” Harry stays and he can feel the tears prickling his eyes. He leans into Niall.

“C’mere,” Niall puts Harry’s arm over his shoulder and scoops him up in his arms, Harry’s head against Niall’s chest.  Harry can feel Niall’s arms shake under his weight, but he doesn’t think for a second that Niall would drop him.

He carries Harry into the bedroom and settles him back into bed.

“Will you stay with me?” Harry asks quietly, looking back at Niall.

Niall nods, toeing off his shoes; he climbs into bed behind Harry, wrapping his arm around Harry’s torso, holding him close.

 

Harry wakes up and is surprised when Niall is still sleeping behind him.  It’s one in the afternoon and Harry wonders if Niall hasn’t been sleeping lately if he’s sleeping now.

Just then, Niall stirs, tightening his grip around Harry’s stomach, nuzzling his nose into the back of Harry’s hair.  Niall pulls them closer together, Harry’s bum against Niall’s crotch; back against his chest.  Harry melts into Niall’s touch, the warmth of his body.

 

+++

 

Christmas Eve, Harry stays over at Niall’s.  What was supposed to be a romantic dinner with wine and the pastries that Harry bought at the bakery around the corner from Niall’s flat, turned into the two of them relaxing in the jacuzzi tub in the master bath.  Harry sitting in between Niall’s legs with his back against Niall’s chest, his head resting on Niall’s shoulder.

Niall runs his hands over Harry’s shoulders, down his arms, intertwining their hands.

“How did you talk me into this?” Niall says with his cheek resting on the top of Harry’s damp curls.

“I told you that you needed to relax,” Harry says. He raises their knotted hands and kisses the back of Niall’s.

“But I’m never gonna want to get out.  I still have to make the pie for tomorrow…”

Harry can hear the tiredness in Niall’s voice and he knows the Irishman is drifting off. “Make it in the morning,” Harry replies softly.  He closes his eyes and sinks further into Niall, as if that were possible.

“Liam said he might stop by tonight…before he goes home.”

“I texted him…” Harry says.

“When?”  Niall lifts his head up.

“When you were putting the groceries away,” Harry says looking back at Niall.

“That was hours ago, we didn’t even know we were going to be doing this until—” but Niall cuts himself off at the realization.  “You played me,” Niall says with fake annoyance.  “You little—”  Niall grabs Harry around the middle pulling him closer making the hot water slosh around them. 

Harry turns his head, looking in Niall’s bright blue eyes, and Niall leans down and kisses him. His hand going to Harry’s cheek.  Harry rolls over, his ass bobbing above the surface of the water.  His hands stream down Niall’s sides, stopping briefly at his waist before he starts running his hand down Niall’s backside.

Niall giggles into Harry’s mouth as Harry squeezes Niall’s bum.

They both freeze when they hear the front door open.

“I thought you told Liam not to come?” Niall whispers looking at Harry.

“I did,” Harry replies.

Neither of them move as they listen.

“Oi, Neil,” they hear Louis on the other side of the door.

Niall sighs. “It might be your birthday but fuck off, Tommo!” Niall shouts.

“Wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important, Nialler lad.  Something’s come up, Bressie needs us,” Louis says in a softer tone.

Harry looks at Niall with soft eyes.

“I gotta go, Hazza,” Niall says.

Harry sighs and moves off Niall.  He watches the water drip down Niall’s body as he climbs out of the tub.  Niall begins drying himself off with a towel and hands another one to Harry, standing in the tub.

Harry climbs out of the tub and sits on the edge with his towel wrapped around him. “It’s Christmas Eve, Niall,” he says looking at Niall.

“Louis knows that.  He was supposed to spend the evening with Eleanor. He wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important,” Niall wraps his towel around his waist and goes for the door.

Harry’s thankful that when the door opens, Louis’ not standing there. 

Niall goes out into the bedroom and starts rifling through his dresser for clothes to wear.  He finds a pair of sweatpants, goes in, and sets them on the counter in the bathroom for Harry.

Niall looks back into the bathroom as he pulls a shirt over his head, his wet hair sitting flat on his head.

“You going to be here when I get back,” he asks, but Harry won’t look up at him.

He’s still sitting on the edge of the tub staring at the ground.

“Harry?” Niall says in a soft tone and Harry finally looks at him.

He stands up, staring at Niall as he shuts the bathroom door in his face.

Niall sighs and goes out to the main room where Louis is sitting on the couch.

“Everything alright?” Louis stands up and starts putting his coat back on.

“No, Lou. Everything’s not alright,” Niall says as he exits the flat followed by Louis.

 

Niall gets back to the flat around four in the morning and all the lights are off.  He makes his way into the bedroom and he sighs in relief when he sees that Harry’s asleep in the bed.

Niall changes into a lightweight pair of sweatpants and crawls into bed, trying his hardest not to touch Harry, but he hears Harry’s breath hitch and he swallows.

“’m sorry,” Niall whispers, more to himself than Harry, so he’s surprised when Harry rolls over and wraps his arm over Niall’s stomach and rests his head on Niall’s chest.

“’m just glad you came back,” Harry mumbles.

Niall puts his arm around Harry and pulls him in closer until they both fall asleep.

 

Harry puts on Christmas music as Niall sets the timer on the oven and sits on the couch with a loud sigh.

“What time are the lads coming over again?” Niall asks, rubbing his eyes.

“2:30,” Harry says walking over and sitting on the couch next to Niall.

Niall puts his arm around Harry and pulls him in so Harry’s head is resting on Niall’s shoulder. “I have a good feeling about Christmas this year,” Niall says kissing the top of Harry’s head.  “This is the happiest I’ve been in a long time.”

Harry snuggles in closer to Niall. “Me too.”

They sit like that for a while and Harry just breathes in Niall’s cinnamon scent.

“Last night,” Niall begins to say. “It’s not always going to be like that. Sometimes it will, but not all the time.”

“I know…” Harry says into the fabric of Niall’s shirt. “I just worry that one day…that one day, you won’t come back.”

“I’ll always come back,” Niall says.

“You can’t promise that.” Harry lifts his head and looks at Niall. “And that’s okay…I can’t spend every day worried that I might lose you, because it’s not fair to you.”

“What do ya mean?” Niall looks at Harry curiously.

“I mean that my instinct is to wrap you up in blankets, make you hot cocoa, and never let you leave the flat, but that’s not realistic and I know that some of the work you do is still about helping people. I can’t ask you to just give all of that up.  But I can make sure that I am here when you get back, whether you want or need me to be.”

Niall’s eyes are watery when he looks at Harry. “I love you,” Niall says. His eyes unbelievably soft.

Harry smiles. “I love you too.” He leans in and kisses Niall softly and Niall deepens the kiss, until Harry’s lying back on the sofa with Niall hovering over him.

Niall’s hands skim up Harry’s sides under his shirt, as he straddles Harry’s leg.  Harry moans against Niall’s’ lips as the Irishman’s thigh rubs against Harry’s crotch. Niall peppers kisses down Harry’s neck, down his chest, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt.  Kissing down across Harry’s butterfly tattoo, to his bellybutton, until his gets to the top of Harry’s tight black jeans.

Niall goes back up, kissing Harry’s lips.

“Fuck me, Niall,” Harry pants.

Niall looks at Harry for a moment, chest raising up and down. “You sure?” Niall asks staring down into Harry’s eyes.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Harry pulls Niall back down and reconnects their lips.

Niall’s fingers fumble with Harry’s belt before he unbuttons Harry’s pants.  Harry’s cock bulging against the tight fabric.

Niall’s phone goes off on the coffee table.

“Leave it,” Harry breathes out against Niall’s lips.  And Niall doesn’t hesitate to continue.

Harry’s hands work to unfasten Niall’s jeans, pulling them halfway down Niall’s ass. 

“We both need to stop wearing such tight pants,” Niall says as he lifts his shirt over his head.

“Maybe we should just stop wearing pants,” Harry says in return, as his eyes and hands skim up and down Niall’s body.  Faint bruises Harry didn’t notice before on Niall’s side. Scar overlaying scar on Niall’s pale skin.

Niall laughs and leans back down to kiss Harry.  It’s more intent and sloppier than before. 

Niall sits back up and starts working Harry’s jeans down his hips.  Niall’s knee in between Harry’s legs, while the other rests on the floor. “I need a bigger couch,” Niall says as he tugs Harry’s pants lower.

“I believe that’s called a bed, babe,” Harry says lifting up his ass to make Niall’s job easier.

“Oh really?” Niall says playfully as he leans back down kissing Harry’s lips and then moving down to suck at the skin on Harry’s neck.

Harry bucks his hips against Niall’s and Niall returns the favor. Harry slides his hand down Niall’s sides, under the hem of his boxers, and grabs Niall’s ass, pulling Niall closer to him.

“Fuck me,” Harry breathes out softly and Niall hooks his thumbs into the top of Harry’s boxer briefs and starts pulling them down, until the timer goes off on the oven, loud beeps filling the room, and he stops. Harry looks at him. “Don’t you dare,” Harry says looking into Niall’s eyes.

“The pie, Harry…” Niall says softly.

Niall climbs clumsily off Harry, almost tripping over the coffee table, pulling up his pants as he goes into the kitchen.

‘Jingle Bell Rock’ plays softly from the stereo as Harry stares at Niall’s ass when he bends over to take the piecrust out of the oven.  Niall stirs the pie filling that’s sitting on the counter then pours it into the hot gram cracker crust. 

Niall sets the empty bowl in the sink and puts the pie back into the oven, setting other timer as Harry walks into the kitchen.

Harry stands flush against Niall’s back, the hardness of his cock resting against Niall’s bum. Harry picks up the can of Reddi-Wip. 

“We could have some fun with his,” Harry whispers, lips grazing Niall’s ear.

“It’s for dessert, Harry,” Niall says quietly.

“We could always have dessert first.” Harry nibbles at the skin below Niall’s ear. His chest pressing against Niall’s back, and his figures gliding under the waistband of Niall’s pants.

Niall slumps over, putting a hand to the counter to steady himself as Harry’s fingers graze his hard cock.

Niall turns, Harry’s hand slipping from Niall’s dick and resting on his bum as Niall stares back at him.

“You’re going to be the death of me aren’t you?” Niall says looking into Harry’s eyes.

Harry smirks and Niall’s eyes look down at the oven.

“We’ve got twenty-three minutes,” Niall says and he takes the Reddi-Wip from Harry. “There’s an extra one in the fridge.”

Harry smiles widely and follows Niall into the bedroom.

 

Harry opens the door when Louis and Liam show up just after 2:30. 

Louis looks at him. “That’s a uh, nice hicky you got there, Harold.”

Harry rubs at the purple mark that Niall left on his neck.

Louis sees Niall as he comes in from the bedroom.  “Seriously, what are you? A couple of teenagers or something.  It’s Christmas, you’re supposed to decorate a tree, not your boyfriend. I really hope your Christmas present isn’t scarring me for life, because I don’t think that was there yesterday.”

“Happy Christmas to you too, Tommo,” Niall says hugging Louis.

Liam looks at Harry, rolling his eyes.

“Niall got excited,” Harry says closing the door.  “I let him open his Christmas present early.” Harry grins as he walks past Louis into the kitchen and Niall lets out a laugh, as Louis’ face contorts itself.

Liam pats Louis on the back. “I believe you deserved that,” Liam says in Louis’ ear.

 

 

After dinner, Niall slices the pie and brings it into the living room. Liam is sitting on the floor by the coffee table sipping quietly on his tea as Louis makes faces at Harry who’s sitting on the couch.

“Dessert is served!” Niall says setting the plates of pie on the coffee table. 

“Don’t forget the whipped cream,” Harry says looking up at Niall giving him a wink and Niall smiles widely.

“I hope you bought extra,” Louis says settling down in one of the chairs.  “Last time you idiots got pissed and ate a can and a half of that stuff before we even got to dessert.”

Harry looks at Niall and tries not to laugh.

“Sorry, Lou. Must’ve forgot.  Only got one can,” Niall says setting the backup can of Reddi-Wip on the coffee table.

“Fine, but I call first dibs,” Louis says snatching the can away from Liam.

They open presents after they eat their pie.

Harry got Louis a custom made keychain which read ‘knock first’ with a little shamrock on it for his key to Niall’s apartment and he got Liam first edition copy of the _Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone_ that Liam had asked about a month back.

On the other side of it, Liam found an old bookstore sign in an antique shop and promised that he’d help hang it up in Harry’s flat.

But Louis watches Harry intently as he opens his present from him. “ _The Big Book of Jokes_ ,” Harry reads the cover of the book in his hand.

“Yeah, no offense, Harry, mate, but your jokes are shit,” Louis says and the boys laugh. “I expect you to read that and not kill us all via horrible puns. It’s getting out of hand. Though I don’t think anything could be worse than those crackers. Fucking ‘thunderwear’”

“Thanks Louis.” Harry smiles and shakes his head.

“You should all be thanking me,” Louis says looking at the boys.

Niall laughs and looks at Harry, he gives Harry’s thigh a quick squeeze.

“So, Harold here kinda had to help hide yours, Nialler,” Louis says. “The shape of it was a bit obvious.”

“You didn’t get me a blow up doll again, did you?” Niall asks worriedly looking between Louis and Liam.

“No,” Louis quips, “but that was pretty funny.”

“No it wasn’t,” Niall says quickly. “I still haven’t gone back to that restaurant.”

Louis waves him off.  “Harold will you just show the man what he’s won.”

Harry bends over and flips up the flap on the bottom of the sofa and feels around before his hand his something hard. “Found it,” Harry jingles. He pulls the dark case from under the sofa.

“You never stopped bitching about having to leave your guitar behind when you moved out here,” Liam says.

“Holy shit,” Niall says looking at the black leather case. “Did you lads really…” Niall lays the case in front of him on the floor and opens the clasps.  The look on Niall’s face was as if he was opening the gates of heaven when he saw the guitar. “Jesus Christ,” he mutters under his breath, sliding his fingers softly down the strings.

“You gonna need a moment there, Nialler?” Louis says, but Niall already has tears building up in his eyes.

Harry watches as Louis expression softens as he places his hand on Niall’s knee.  The amount of softness and care in Louis and Liam’s expressions, confirms everything he already knew about the three boys; they are, in fact, a family.

Niall wipes his eyes. “Okay,” he breathes out slowly. “Now, my gift for you guys,” he says looking at Louis and Liam. “Is not actually here. Nor will it ever be here, because it is already in each of your flats.  The rules of the gift are simple, they do not ever come into this flat and you do not use them on me or Harry. Beyond that, you can shoot each other as much as you want,” Niall finishes and Harry looks at him with a confused expression.

“You didn’t…” Liam says looking at Niall wide-eyed.

“Oh I did,” Niall smiles at them.

“The Super-Soaker 3000,” Louis whispers and looks up to the ceiling. “There is a god.” Louis’ face then hardens as he looks over at Liam. “You are so going down.”

“Not this time, Tommo!”

They both shoot up from where they’re sitting and quickly collect their stuff, trying to be the first one out the door.

“See you lads later!” Louis calls out before he slams the door in Liam’s face.

“Happy Christmas!” Liam shouts.

“Just don’t go outside and catch pneumonia!” Niall calls after them.

Harry shakes his head and looks at Niall.  “Did you do that on purpose?”

Niall stands up and picks up the empty plates on the coffee table. “If you mean did I give my present to those two last so that we would actually have an uninterrupted night together, I’d have to say that I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Niall says and he grins at Harry.  “Plus, I realized that if they walked through me bedroom to use the master bath that there was an empty can of Reddi-Wip sitting on the nightstand.”

Harry laughs loudly as Niall brings the plate into the kitchen.

“You’re a very smart man, Niall Horan,” Harry says.

“Practically a genius.” Niall smiles at him from the kitchen.  “But I also didn’t want to give my gift to you in front of them,” Niall says walking over and picking up a gift from under the tree.

“It’s not another hicky is it?” Harry jokes.

“No, but if it was, I’d hide it a bit better.” Niall turns with the green and red wrapped gift and hands it to Harry.  “’s nothin’ special, but I thought you might like it.”

Harry looks at the present and gently tears the wrapping paper revealing a leather bound journal. 

“I found these scraps of paper in your flat while you were sick.  You’d written all sorts of notes, and lines all over them and I just thought that it might me easier if you just carried a notebook around, so you always had somewhere to write things down when they popped into your head.”

Harry glides his hand over the leather and flips through the empty pages.  He gets to the last page where Niall had written something in. To Hazza, Love always, Niall 13.9.15

“Why is your birthday in here?” Harry asks looking over at Niall.

Niall smiles. “It’s not just me birthdate…it’s the day we met.” Niall looks at Harry with soft eyes. “Best birthday present I ever got.”

Harry smiles uncontrollably and wraps his arms around Niall, holding him close.  “I love it,” he says into the crook of Niall’s neck.

Niall hugs him back fiercely.  “Well, I love you.”

“I love you too,” Harry says pulling away from Niall.

They laugh at themselves as they both have tear streaming down their cheeks.

“Okay, no more crying,” Harry says wiping the tears away. “You still have to open your present.”  Harry leans over the side of the couch and pushes a small square box into Niall’s hands.  It’s nicely wrapped with red paper and a small bow on top.

Niall works carefully at the paper, opens the box, and pulls out a necklace. Hanging from it are four charms.  A silver shamrock, a silver sparrow, a gold deer, and a gold wolf.

“When all this started, the first thing I noticed was that you, Louis, and Liam were a family.  And the two of them insisted that I was becoming a part of that family. I have tattoos that remind me of my family and so do Louis and Liam…so I got these four charms made. You, the shamrock; Louis the deer, from his tattoo; Liam the wolf, because you guys always say that he’s a puppy in a human’s body but that there was no one more terrifying than Liam; and mines the sparrow.” Harry watches as Niall examines each charm. “Your family loves you Niall and we’re always going to be with you, no matter what. You brought us all together.”

Niall looks up at Harry, tears filling his eyes again.

“Whether we are together for a year,” Harry says as he pulls off the bracelets on his left wrist. “Two years, five, ten, or a lifetime…I’m always going to remember you.” Harry holds out his wrist showing the still slightly red, small shamrock tattoo.  “I know it might seem crazy and stalkerish, but—”

“I don’t think it’s crazy…or stalkerish,” Niall chuckles. He reaches out and takes Harry’s hands in his. “I came to London to do a job and I met Louis…Liam…and you, and that’s gotta mean something.”  Niall looks at Harry with his big blue eyes.  “All the shite that’s happened…having you all around…it makes it worth it all.”

Harry smiles and leans in and kisses Niall softly. 

“A little piece of me wants to ravage you in the bedroom, but the rest of me just wants to go to bed and fall asleep with you,” Harry says and Niall smiles.

“’m actually good with that second option,” Niall chuckles.

Niall gets up and locks the front door while Harry straightens things up a little before they go to the bedroom.

 

Niall crawls into bed as Harry finishes up in the bathroom.  Figures fidgeting with the new necklace around his neck. 

Harry comes in from the bathroom, turns off the overhead light, and practically pounces on the bed so he’s straddling Niall’s hips.

“Thought you said you were too tired…” Niall asks looking up at his boyfriend.

“I have one last present for you,” Harry says reaching toward the nightstand on his side of the bed, making Niall hold him so he doesn’t fall over.  Harry then drops a wrapped present on Niall’s chest.

“You weren’t jokin’,” Niall says picking up the soft package.  “You didn’t have te get me anythin’ else, Harry, the necklace was more than enough.”

“This one is a little less mushy and serious.” Harry shrugs. “A bit more fun as well.”

“’s not condoms is it?” Niall chuckles.

“No, but that was the plan for Valentine’s Day,” Harry jokes. “Just open it.”

Niall looks from Harry to the package and tears the wrapping paper.  Niall’s face lights up as he starts looking through the contents. 

Socks of all different patterns and colors.

“I know how much you like your fun socks,” Harry says looking down at the smile on Niall’s face.  “Every time I saw a pair that caught my eye, I bought them.”

Niall looks up at Harry. “I love em, Haz…I love you.”

“I love you too,” Harry says and he leans down pressing a kiss to Niall’s lips before he flops on the bed, wrapping an arm over Niall’s chest.

“Happy Christmas, Niall.”

“Happy Christmas, Harry.”

Niall reaches over, places the socks on the nightstand and turns off the light.

 

+++

 

Niall walks up behind Harry, who’s standing at the register counter sorting through a shipment of new books, and kisses his cheek before he goes over and sits on the windowsill.

It’s beginning to get warmer out now that it’s the end of March. 

Niall sits there flipping through _Le Morte D’Arthur_ before he puts it back on the pile sitting next to him and looks at Harry.  “Are you happy here, Haz?”

Harry stops what he was doing and looks over at Niall with a confused expression.

“I mean like…” Niall rubs the back of his neck.  “Are you happy here in London and like working at this bookstore?”

“I’m happy here with you,” Harry says.

“Putting me out of the equation,” Niall says flatly.

“Yeah, I guess I like it here,” Harry says truthfully and he shrugs.  “I like working here and living here as long as no one is trying to kill me.” Harry says it as a joke but Niall looks at him with a slightly guilty and pained expression making Harry want to take it back almost immediately. “I didn’t mean to—”

“No, you’re right,” Niall says. He stands up and gives a small smile.

“All things have a downside,” Harry says.  “We got ours done and over with right off the bat, so I figure it’s okay to be happy now. I’m not waiting around for the other shoe to drop…both shoes are already on the floor, they are on my feet and I’m walking to yours for so we can go out to dinner tomorrow night.” Harry smiles and Niall can’t help but laugh.

“That is one of the weirdest metaphors I’ve ever heard in me life,” Niall grins.  He walks forward and wraps his arms around Harry’s waist. “You’ve been spendin’ too much time around all these books.”

“It’s my job,” Harry says and he wraps his arms around Niall’s waist in return, but freezes as soon as he feels something hard sticking out of the back of Niall’s waistband.  Harry looks Niall dead in the eyes and Niall knows he fucked up. “Either your dick is on backwards or you brought a fucking gun into the shop,” Harry says and he drops his hands from Niall’s waist and backs away. The anger boils through Harry quicker than he’d like. “What the fuck, Niall?” Harry grabs a stack of books from the counter and takes them into the shelves to be put away.

“’m sorry alright? I was going to meet Louis and Liam to—”

“To what, Niall?” Harry says harshly turning toward Niall. “To take care of something? You ask me if I’m happy, get pissed when I bring up the two guys that wanted to kill me, meanwhile, you’re sitting there with a loaded gun in your pants.”

“I’m sorry, Haz…I wasn’t thinking,” Niall says and he positions himself right next to Harry. He tries to take Harry’s hand. “It won’t happen again…”

Harry turns to face the shelves. “It better not.” But Harry’s gaze is softer when his eyes look over to meet Niall’s.

Niall gives a small smile and kisses Harry’s shoulder before he heads for the door.  “See you same time for lunch tomorrow?” Niall looks back at Harry.

“Don’t bother,” Harry says going to grab more books off the counter.

“What?” Niall says releasing his grip on the door handle.

“I’m hosting that reading event in here for the kid’s tomorrow…you can’t be here…”

Niall looks at Harry with a painful understanding. “Oh… uh yeah that’s probably a good idea.” He rakes his hand through his hair. “Uh…good luck then,” Niall forces a smile.  “And I guess I’ll uh… I’ll see you for dinner then.”

“Yeah, I’ll text you when I’m coming over,” Harry says.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Niall avoids looking at Harry. “See you then…love you,” Niall says quickly before he turns and exists the shop.

Harry slides down to the floor and puts his head in his hands. 

Being in a relationship with Niall is like a continuous series of pushes and pulls.  As soon as they are comfortable with each other, something happens and it’s like they have to start all over again.  Early mornings, waking up to Niall are Harry’s favorite days.  Days where they cook each other breakfast, take a shower together, and just enjoy each other’s company; those were the best days and those were the times that Harry could forget about what Niall does or has done and as soon as Niall leaves the flat, what he’s about to do.

Harry sits on the floor for a long while, until he finally gets up and starts putting the books away again.

 

+++

 

Harry leans against the counter, watching as Perrie reads to the kids, making up funny voices for each one of the characters.  Harry smiles when the kids laugh and giggle when Perrie starts talking in a really deep voice, making funny faces at the kids as she reads for the monster in the book.

Greg comes out of the back storage room and Harry catches the smile on his face before he notices Harry and goes about his business. 

Things with Greg are still tense after Greg found out that Harry was hanging out with Niall…little did Greg know that Harry was doing a lot more with Niall than just hanging out, but that wasn’t any of his business.

 

Niall texts Harry later in the day that he’s going to pick Harry up at the shop instead of Harry walking to Niall’s flat.  Harry wants to ask if he has Bressie’s Range Rover again, but he doesn’t bother. 

Harry sees the black Range Rover park across the street ten minutes before closing, but Niall doesn’t come into the shop this time.  He finishes cleaning up and rearranging the chairs and odds and ends in the store from having the kids there. 

It’s not until he’s outside locking up that Niall gets out of the vehicle and stands there waiting for Harry to cross the street. 

Niall leans against the car with his arms folded across his chest.  “How’d it go?” Niall says in a light tone.

“Why’d you wait out here?” Harry asks ignoring Niall’s question.

“Didn’t know if I was still banned or not,” Niall says giving Harry a quick kiss on the check before he gets back in the car.

Niall turns the key and puts his seatbelt on as Harry gets settled in the passenger’s seat.

“The kids seemed to enjoy themselves,” Harry says trying to cut through the silence sitting between them.  “Perrie was really good with them.”

“Yeah, she’s a sweetheart,” Niall says, but Harry thinks that he’s just trying to fill the space too. 

“What’s with the car, anyway? Thought Bressie only gave it to you for emergencies…this seems pretty new,” Harry says looking at the stickers on the navigation screen, not to mention the new car smell.

“That’s ‘cause it’s mine,” Niall says and Harry looks at him.  “Didn’t have one before since I didn’t need it, but I had the money and honestly it’s just easier getting’ around this way.”

“So is something else going on then?” Harry looks at Niall’s profile.

“Some stuff’s been going on, yeah…” Niall admits.

“Do I need to worry about any of it? I mean for the shop or anything?”

Niall shakes his head, but he doesn’t look at Harry.  “Other side of the city. You’re fine.”

“Oh…okay.” Harry turns, looking out the window.  He watches all the shops and people go by, and wonders if the feeling in his stomach will ever go away.

They get to the restaurant and Harry’s thankful that it’s nothing fancy as they sit down in a corner booth.

“Heard from the Hollands today,” Harry says breaking the silence as the waitress puts their food in front of them.  “Said they’ll be back in a few weeks at the most.”

“It’s bittersweet, innit?” Niall asks as he eats some of his salad.  “You’ve been runnin’ the store for so long, I almost forgot that they would be coming back one day.”

“Looking forward to getting a little time off, hopefully,” Harry says with a smile and Niall smiles back at him.

Niall pushes around his salad, mixing the dressing throughout. “We should take a drive,” he says looking up at Harry.  “When the weather gets nicer.  Feel like we need to just get away for a little bit. No bookstore, no Louis and Liam, just you and me rolling in the sheets and watchin’ a sunset or something like that.”

“Really?”

Niall reaches across the table and takes Harry’s hand.  “Absolutely, all the shit I’ve put you through since I showed up.  We deserve a holiday.”

Harry laughs. “No, I mean like for once Louis and Liam aren’t going to be around to interrupt us? Because I feel like that might be asking too much, I don’t want to get to the hotel or something and find them stowed away in the boot of the car.”

Niall smiles, his eyes squinting shut as he lets out a laugh. “I promise no Louis and Liam.”

Just then, Niall’s phone rings on the table and Harry reads Louis name upside down as Niall looks at him for a moment before tentatively picking up the phone.  Niall moves his way out of the booth, he starts walking toward the bathrooms when he stops.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll be right there…yeah,” Niall says before he hangs up the phone. He grabs his wallet out of his back pocket, tossing money on the table.  “We gotta go,” Niall says picking up his jacket.

“What’s going on?” Harry asks scooting out of the booth.  “Is Louis alright?”

“He’s fine, but something came up and I don’t have time to drop you off at the flat, it’s not safe for you to walk home alone, Harry.  We have to go now.”

Harry doesn’t ask any questions as he follows Niall out to the Range Rover.

“This shit was supposed to be taken care of…idiots can’t do anything right,” Niall says but Harry doesn’t think he’s really talking to him. 

Harry holds onto the door handle as Niall speeds through the city, swerving around cars.

“Niall,” Harry says. “Maybe you should slow down.”

“I’m sorry, you know that right?” Niall says ignoring Harry.

“Yeah, I know,” Harry looks at Niall with a worried expression. “Niall, what’s going on? Where are we going?”

“This is the type of shit that makes me think I can’t leave,” Niall says, still ignoring Harry’s questions. “Well, shit like this and what they’d do to me if I left without permission, but this shit…fucking hell, Harry, I’m so sorry.” Niall pulls to a quick stop outside of a townhouse and Harry sees Louis and Liam get out of a car a couple vehicles in front of them.

Niall reaches over, opens the glovebox, and pulls out a gun.  Harry can hear loud music playing from somewhere up the block along with cheering.

“Niall?”

“Harry, you’ve got te promise me that no matter what you hear, no matter what happens, that you will not get out of this car,” Niall says and he checks to make sure the clip is full. He looks at Harry when he doesn’t respond.  “Harry, promise me you won’t leave the car.”

Harry nods his head because he doesn’t know what else to do, but he knows that he doesn’t want Niall to leave.

“Please don’t go in there,” Harry finally says, but his words are broken up by the tightness in his throat as tears start pouring out of his eyes.  “Niall, please don’t go,” Harry says, reaching out for Niall but Niall is already getting out of the car, putting the gun into the back of his pants. 

“Harry, I love you, please just stay in the car,” Niall says.  He looks at Harry with a sad expression and closes the door.

Harry watches as Niall joins Louis and Liam as they walk across the street and one by one follow each other into the house. He feels like he’s going to vomit as he keeps his eyes peeled on the front door waiting for any movement.

He sits there for a good five minutes before hearing loud, banging noises and sees flashes of light from the windows.  The air hitches in Harry’s throat and he can hardly breathe, before the front door opens again and Louis and Liam walk out and he almost loses it before Niall finally appears coming out of the doorway.

Niall hurries across the street back to the car, but it’s not until he gets back into the driver’s seat that Harry can see the blood on his shirt and the little red dots going up his hand and face. 

Niall turns the key and quickly takes off down the street away from the house.

“Are you…” Harry tries to speak but he can’t. He can’t ask Niall if he’s hurt.

“I’m so sorry, Hazza,” Niall says and Harry can hear the shake in his voice. 

“I feel like I’m going to be sick,” Harry says and he closes his eyes.

Niall looks at him. “Harry? Hey, it’s okay, I’m fine, it’s going to be alright…Harry?” Niall says.  He reaches out to take Harry’s hand to comfort him, but Harry pulls it way.  “You’re gonna be fine.”

“Take me home,” Harry mumbles as his stomach churns. 

“What?” Niall looks over at him with worry across his face.

“I want to go home.  I don’t want to be here.” Harry shakes his head.

“Harry?”

“I can’t do this. I don’t want to be here.  I can’t be with you. I want to go home.”

“Harry, look at me!” Niall says, glancing between the road and Harry. “We’re just gonna go back to mine. I don’t think you should be alone.”

“I just want to go home,” Harry starts crying again.

“I’m so sorry, Harry.”

The rest of the drive to Niall’s flat is silent and Harry stares out the window but he can feel Niall’s eyes glance over at him, waiting to see some sort of decision in Harry’s mind, but Harry just feels lost and sad.

They get to the flat and walk wordlessly up the stairs.  Niall goes to take off his jacket to hang over the back of the couch before he remembers the blood splattered up the front of it.  He puts it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs instead.

“Got some stuff to take care of the next couple of days,” Niall says but he doesn’t look at Harry.  “Not sure when I’m goin’ to be able to see ya again.”

“Am I allowed to ask what you’re doing?” Harry asks, trailing his fingers along the top back of the couch.  He doesn’t want to look at Niall. He doesn’t want to see the blood again.  He tries over and over to get the image of Niall shooting someone out of his mind but he can’t.  Maybe before it was easy, but this time he heard it and this time Niall couldn’t clean himself up before Harry saw him again.

Niall runs his hand through his hair and pulls at the ends.  “I try to keep that part of me life and you separate for a reason…I know the gun thing was stupid and that having Louis and Liam around all the time probably doesn’t make it any easier to forget what I do, and what happened today…but I like coming home knowing that you’re going to be there even after some of the things I’ve done.”

“So, I get to know, but I don’t get to know everything so that you can go off and kill people and still come home to me smiling like an idiot because I love you and the fact that you might have killed some poor bastard earlier in the day isn’t supposed to even register in my mind?” Harry bites back.

“That’s not what I mean, Haz…” Niall looks at Harry.

“But it is,” Harry says pointedly.  “You said it yourself, that you get to feel normal around me because I don’t know what you’ve done.  You bring a gun into the store and it doesn’t even register with you that the reason you carry a gun is because you are either pointing it in someone else’s face or you have it for protection against other people coming after you.  Violence might follow you, Niall, but you also go looking for it, because that’s your job.” Harry looks down, shaking his head.  “And the saddest part about all this is that I am still going to be here when you get home, because I do love you and I want to know that you’re safe. And I fucking hate myself for it, Niall. I hate that I love you because it seems to cause more issues than it fixes.”

“I wish I could stop,” Niall says. He walks forward and stands in front of Harry. “I wish I could stop loving you because then you would be safe.  I wish I could stop doing this shit. I wish I could get Louis and Liam out of it. I wish that it was all just over and that we could move to the country and grow fat and old together. I wish that I could see me da again. I wish that I could give you everything you deserve…because you deserve the world, Harry. But I can’t…I all but sold my soul the day I agreed to be a part of the club and if I try to leave they’ll—”

“Kill you?” Harry says and Niall looks at him with a pained expression, an expression that told Harry that Niall didn’t want him to know that and wondered why Harry did.  “Your friend…Perrie’s boyfriend, the one that left, he’s dead isn’t he?”

Niall can’t look at Harry and he backs away.

“Which one of you was it, Niall?” Harry goes back on the attack.  “Was it you? Liam? Louis? Which one of you had to kill one of your best friends because he didn’t want to be part of your little club anymore?”

Niall shakes his head before he looks up at Harry with tears in his eyes.  “He didn’t just leave, Harry. He tried making a deal with one of the other clubs, gave ‘em information to get him out of here.  He didn’t give us a choice.”

“You just keep telling yourself that, Niall.  You keep up all this stuff about not having a choice as if they put a gun to your head when you joined!”

“Why the fuck are you saying this? Why now? After everything. After what you said at Christmas about us being a family…or was that just because things seemed normal for the day that you thought I could just fuck you, that you could just give me a necklace, show me your tattoo and make me feel like we were in love with each other before you ripped the rug out from underneath me?”

Harry turn away from Niall toward the door. 

“So you’re just going to leave? Just like that?” Niall watches Harry. “I don’t get an explanation…”

Harry turns and looks at Niall.  “I can’t just forget about everything that you’ve done, Niall. You’re covered in someone else’s blood for fuck’s sake.  I have fucking morals…I thought you did too but then…”

“Then what?” Niall bites back.  “Then you remembered that your boyfriend is a fucking gangbanger?”

Harry pauses with his hand on the doorknob and looks back at Niall. “I’m going home.” Harry exits the flat without saying anything else to Niall.  The sound of the door slamming shut echoes in his mind, wracking around in his brain. 

He doesn’t start to breathe again until he gets outside Niall’s building.  He wants to take it all back.  He wants to go back and never ask Niall about what he was going to be doing.  He just wants to curl up on the couch, burying his face in Niall’s neck, breathing in his cinnamon scent.  But he doesn’t know if he’s going to see Niall again if he’s being honest with himself.  Harry doesn’t know if this is the end. It feels like the end and Harry hates it.  He fooled himself, hell they both fooled themselves into thinking that they could have a normal relationship with all this crap going on.

 

 

Harry’s surprised when he finishes work the next day and he hasn’t heard anything from Niall, that and neither Louis nor Liam barged in demanding answers about why Niall was so upset.  Maybe that’s what hurts the most; maybe Niall is fine and Louis and Liam don’t even know anything happened between them. 

This goes on for a couple more days before Niall finally shows up at the bookstore one afternoon. 

Harry watches Niall as he looks anywhere but at Harry; his hands in his pockets.  

“I’m an idiot,” Niall says quietly when he finally gets to the counter.  He still won’t look at Harry. 

“I think we already established that,” Harry says flatly and that when Niall finally looks up at him, a sudden change in his demeanor, a slight anger taking over his eyes.

Trying to maintain some sense of calm, Niall bites back. “You know what Harry, you knew what you were getting yourself into and I’m sorry that you didn’t like actually seeing the things that I have to do, but Christ, if it doesn’t feel like you’ve just been looking for a way out of this the entire time.”  Niall turns away from Harry, running his hand through his hair, pulling at the ends.  “I mean…” he starts to say and he turns again to face Harry. “I love you.  You know that, right? But every time something goes even slightly wrong it feels like you’re already running for the door.”

And maybe it’s true, Harry thinks to himself. Maybe he’s been looking for a reason to leave Niall because he knows that it won’t end well. And how could it? Niall is a criminal.

“Can you really blame me?” Harry says.  “You’re constantly in danger.  Between the guns and the brutes; the very fact that my life has been in danger how many times ever since the day we met…I know being with you is stupid, and if I had any sense, I would have left a long time ago, but you have a plan Niall…you want to get out, you want Louis and Liam to get out, and I think there’s a piece of me that’s waiting around for that to happen, but there’s another part of me that thinks it never will.”

Harry can see the tears running down Niall’s cheeks. 

“I really think I can do it,” Niall says.  “I think one day, they’ll let me and the lads leave and I’d really like for you to come with me.  I always thought I’d go see me da first and I think he’d really like to meet you too.”

Harry smiles at that. “I’d really like to meet your father one day too.”

Niall smiles through his tear filled eyes and Harry walks around the counter and wraps his arms around Niall. 

“I know this isn’t easy but I’m done making it even harder for you…for the both of us,” Harry says quietly as Niall hugs Harry closely. There’s something in the back of Harry’s mind telling him that he’s making a mistake and that they are going to fight again and that this isn’t going to end well.

They pull away and Harry cups Niall’s face in his hands. “You keep apologizing to me,” Harry starts to say, “but it’s not all on you. I’m sorry too.” Harry leans forward and kisses Niall’s forehead.

Niall’s smile widens even more and he leans in and kisses Harry properly on the lips. 

“Come ‘round tomorrow morning,” Niall says, his lips grazing Harry’s with their closeness. “Or maybe I could come out here…”

“No,” Harry says lightly.  “I’ll come to yours.  I can get us some breakfast from the bakery on the corner.”

“That sounds perfect,” Niall whispers.

Niall kisses Harry again before he finally pulls away, stepping toward the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Niall says.  His smile makes Harry’s heart melt and he can’t help but smile back.

Harry nods. “I love you.”

Niall reaches for the door handle and turns to Harry. “I love you, too.”

Niall exits the shop and Harry watches as he disappears down the sidewalk.  He goes back to work, but he can’t stop smiling, feeling like things were finally going to get better.

 

 

Harry curls up on his small couch that evening with a small glass of wine.  He flips through the channels and settles on _A Walk to Remember_.  It’s late, and he’s usually in bed by now, but his mind can’t stop thinking about Niall and seeing him in the morning. As soon as the thoughts of Niall start flooding his mind during a commercial, his phone rings on the end table.  Seeing Niall’s name on the screen before he even picks it up he fumbles with the phone before he finally accepts the call.

“Do you even know what time it is?” Harry asks jokingly and he hears Niall chuckle through the phone.  Harry looks at the clock on the wall. “It’s almost one o’clock in the morning.”

“Walking home actually,” Niall says cheerily.

“What happened to the Range Rover? Get tired of it already?”

“Didn’t drive it today.  Stayed local,” Niall chuckles.  “So what’re ye up to? And don’t say sleeping, I know your sleepy voice.”

“Watchin’ a movie…drinking some wine,” Harry says. He picks his wine up and takes a sip.

“Classy.”

There’s a short pause between them.

“So, what do I own the pleasure? Remember you have something to do tomorrow morning or something?” Harry asks, but he doesn’t want to know the answer.  He’s still riding the high of seeing Niall tomorrow morning and he doesn’t want it to go away.”

“No, no. All is good with that stuff. Just wanted to hear your voice, I s’pose.”  Harry hears Niall breathe in and out, listening as the sound crackles through the phone. “I can’t wait to see you.  I feel like a damn teenager or something.  Nervous excitement or somethin’ like that. Which sounds crazy, since we’ve you know…”

“Had sex,” Harry interjects.

“Amongst other things.  I dunno, it’s like I’m ridin’ this high and I feel like good things are comin’, ya know?”

Harry chuckles to himself. “I have the exact same feeling, actually. It feels really good.”

Niall breathes out heavily.  “Feel like this walk home is lasting for ages.  Two more blocks,” Niall laughs.  “Don’t really realize how much you walk until ya…” Niall stops his sentence short.

Harry listens carefully. “Niall?” He asks. “Niall, is everything alright?”  Harry sets his wine on the end table and sits up, he doesn’t relax until he hears Niall breathing through the phone again.

“Sorry, just thought someone was…” Niall trails off again.  “It’s nothing,” he laughs.  “As I was saying, I didn’t realize how long this walk was until now.”  There’s more silence and Harry just finds it comforting, feeling like he’s walking beside Niall. “Well, I’ll let you finish your wine and your movie, and I’ll see ye in the mornin’, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Harry says with a smile on his face.  “I love you.”

“Love you too, Harry…I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

The call ends but Harry lets the phone linger on his ear a little longer.  He drinks what’s left of his wine and he turns off the TV and heads to bed.

 

Harry wakes up early to get a shower before he goes over to Niall’s. It was one of those mornings where he woke up ready to start his day; the first time in a while, he was excited to get out of bed. 

His mind is so clear as he makes his way down the sidewalk.  The air around him is crisp in the morning cold, but it feels more refreshing than a hindrance. 

He waits in line in the shop around the corner of Niall’s flat.  The smell of fresh bagels and scones filling his senses.  He gets enough food for the both of them and their tea.  It was amazing how easily and without thought that he made Niall’s tea the way he likes it. 

Harry walks up the stairs to Niall’s flat and stops to dig his key out of his pocket but when he turns the knob, he realizes that the door is already unlocked.  Harry pokes his head into the flat, looking around. Niall never leaves his door unlocked.

“Niall?” Harry says as he sets the paper bag and drinks on the counter.  He looks around, noticing that the end table next to the couch is knocked over.  “Niall?” Harry says again.  He can feel his heart start beating faster. 

He walks down the hallway, where Niall’s bedroom door is ajar. “Niall?” Harry pushes the door open slowly and breathes out a sigh of relief when he sees Niall lying in bed.  The lights are off and Niall is on his side, under the covers, so Harry can only see his back.

Harry walks further into the room, walking around the bed. “Niall?” he says softly.  Harry stops dead in his tracks when he finally sees Niall’s face, bloodied and bruised. The tiniest glint of blue peeking out beneath his swollen eye as his right eye was swollen shut against the pillow.

“N-Niall?” Harry chokes out, his voice and body shaking.  He reaches out, but then retracts his hand.

Harry kneels down beside the bed, seeing the tiniest bit of movement in Niall’s gaze as he follows Harry’s face, and Harry gently rests his hand on top of Niall’s bloodied knuckles.  “It’s gonna be okay.  I’m gonna call for an ambulance. You’re going to be fine.”

“No…” Niall chokes out.  The words are barely audible.  “No am-ambulance.” Niall breathes out a labored breath, a twinge of pain forcing him to close his eyes for a moment.  Blotches and lines of dried blood covering his pale face.

“Okay, no ambulance…uh….” Harry lets go of Niall’s hand and fishes his phone out of his pocket. “It’s going to be okay,” he says again.  Harry stands up.  His fingers shake as he tries to pull up Louis’ number on his phone. He closes his eyes as he puts the phone to his ear. 

“Harold?” Louis’ groggy voice comes over the line after the third ring.  “This better not be another butt dial.”

“It-It’s N-Niall,” Harry says into the phone. “I f-found him in his flat.  H-he’s been beaten up. He can hardly open his eyes. He doesn’t want m-me to call for an ambulance. I-I’m scared to touch him. I don’t want to h-hurt him.”  It’s not until Harry says that, that he starts crying. 

Harry hears movement on the other end of the line. “Alright. I’ll call Liam, we’ll be over as soon as possible, alright? He’s going to be fine Harry.  Just lock the front door and just stay with him, alright? I’m leaving right now.” 

“Okay,” Harry manages to say.

“He’s going to be fine, Harry. We’ll be over soon.”

The call ends and Harry takes one last look at Niall before he dashes back out in the main area to lock the front door. 

He turns the lamp on the bedside table on, thankful that the light is dim.  He kneels on the floor beside the bed. Niall manages to turn his hand over so it’s palm up and Harry takes Niall’s hand.  Niall’s grip being stronger than Harry expected and Harry wonders if Niall was trying to comfort him even though he’s the one that’s hurt.

“I love you… you know that, right?” Harry says softly.  He doesn’t expect Niall to answer but when a tear escapes from Niall’s eye down into the pillow and his grip tightens on Harry’s, he knows how much pain Niall is really in.

It’s only about fifteen minutes later when there’s a knock at the door and Harry checks the peephole, seeing Louis and Liam standing on the other side of the door.

Harry opens the door, lets them in, and locks the door behind them.

“How is he?” Liam asks.

Harry tries to keep himself from crying. “It’s not good,” he manages. He follows Louis and Liam back into Niall’s room. Watching as Louis bends over a little to look at Niall.

“Hey there, Nialler,” Louis says softly.  “We’re just gonna take a look, alright?”  Louis carefully pulls back the blankets.  Even in the dim lighting, they can see the blood soaking through Niall’s shirt. “Okay,” Louis says easily.  Next, he pulls up the t-shirt a little ways.  Niall’s entire torso is covered in bloody scrapes and bruises as Niall breathes out sounding as if there was sand caught in his throat.

Harry forces himself to look away as Louis pulls the shirt back down and pulls the covers back over Niall. 

“Alright, Nialler. You’re gonna be just fine alright?” Louis says and he stands up straight and starts walking toward the door, motioning for Liam and Harry to follow him out.

They stand in the middle of the living area.

“He asked me not to call for ambulance, but—” Harry starts to say.

“No, he…” Louis begins. “He’s right. Hospitals ask too many questions and we don’t even know what happened. To be honest, none of this is really making any sense.”

“Aside from a knocked over end table and a little bit of blood on the door,” Liam says. “It doesn’t seem like whatever happened, happened here.”

“Which means that he got back here himself,” Louis says rubbing his face with his hand. “Jesus Christ…alright, well with the amount of blood and swelling this is a bit beyond my capabilities.”

“You want me to make a call to The Medic?” Liam asks.

Louis nods. “Probably our best bet. But we have to move him onto his back. I don’t think he’s bleeding out other than some surface cuts but I just want to make sure.”

Harry goes with Louis back into Niall’s bedroom and Louis grabs the first-aid kit from the bathroom, while Liam makes a phone call to The Medic.

“You’re gonna want to take his hand, Harry. This is going to hurt,” Louis says and Harry sits on the edge of the bed and takes Niall’s hand.

“Who’s The Medic?” Harry asks. He beside the bed and takes Niall’s hand again giving him a quick smile before he looks back at Louis as he goes to the other side of Niall to turn him onto his back.

 “Alright, Nialler. This is going to hurt, but you just gotta bear with us.” Louis pulls the blankets down Niall, so they’re not in the way, quickly examining Niall’s back for any serious injuries.

Niall’s breathing becomes heavier and he seems only half-conscious as Harry watches him.

“The Medic is an independent contractor,” Louis says. “You ready?”

Harry gives a quick nod and Louis starts to turn Niall over as gently as possible, but Niall yells out in pain, squeezing Harry’s hand tightly. Louis pulls up on Niall’s blood-stained shirt, looking at the cuts more carefully. “It’s alright, Nialler. Everything’s just fine,” Louis says softly. Niall’s grip on Harry fades and Louis takes a couple of gauze pads out of the first-aid kits. “This one’s pretty deep,” Louis examines a large cut on Niall’s stomach and places the gauze pads on top of it. 

Niall’s grip on Harry disappears and his eyes fade shut. “Niall?” Harry worries.

Louis’ fingers check Niall’s pulse. “It’s weak, but it’s there…probably passed out from the pain.”

Louis climbs off the bed. “We use The Medic when we can’t go to hospital, but he can’t be trusted exactly…”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry looks at Louis incredulously.

“It means that you can’t be here when he gets here.  He works independently of all the clubs which means he doesn’t have loyalty to any of us, so the less he knows the better.”

“But you trust him to help Niall?”

“We pay him, he helps Niall, and he leaves. The untrustworthy part isn’t in the medicine its whether or not he hears anything of interest while doing the job.” Louis looks up as Liam enters the room.

“He’ll be here in a half hour,” Liam says and he looks from Louis to Harry.

“You should probably get going Harry,” Louis says looking down at Harry.

Harry looks at Niall. He can feel the tears stinging his eyes again.  “I c-can’t.”

“Louis is right, Harry. It’s best if you’re not here,” Liam says.  “Go to work. Act like it’s any other day. We’ll let you know what’s going on.”

“Come on, mate,” Louis says placing his hand on Harry’s shoulder.  “We’ll call you as soon as we know anything.”

Harry can’t help the tears that go down his cheeks as he looks into Niall’s eyes; the way the blue stands out beneath all the red. “I love you,” Harry says quietly. Harry places a soft kiss on Niall’s fingers before he lets go. “I love you so much,” he says and Harry gets up, wiping off his face with his arm as he leaves Niall’s bedroom, turning around, watching as Liam takes his place by Niall’s bedside.

Louis follows Harry out to the living area. “He’s going to be fine,” Louis says casually.

“How am I supposed to just go to work when…” Harry’s voice drops.

“He made it all the way in here and is still semi-conscious after getting a beating that should have sent him to an emergency room. He’s a strong little leprechaun.” Louis gives Harry a small smile. “Got to be that mysterious luck of the Irish or something.”

Harry lets out a small nervous chuckle.

“Seriously though, he’s going to be fine.”

 

 

It took every ounce of Harry to leave Niall’s flat, but when he gets to the bookstore, he notices that it’s already unlocked and the sign is flipped to ‘open’.

The bell above the door rings out when he enters the shop and Greg comes out from the back room. 

“You’re late,” Greg says a matter-of-factly. “Good to know that your friendship with the thugs has affected your work ethic as well as your moral—”

“Fuck off, Greg,” Harry says flatly as he starts rearranging the books he put out the night before.

“The Hollands are going to be back soon enough. You bringing that kind of violence into this place, coming in late, speaking to people like that…you’re going to get yourself a one way ticket out of here.”

Harry ignores him as he continues arranging some of their newer books into the space in the front window.

Harry gets a text from Louis around eleven o’clock saying that Niall’s going to be okay and that he’s resting. Harry just sends back a quick “ok” and leaves it at that.  He wants to get the image of Niall beaten and bloody out of his head.  He can’t bring himself to leave work because of it. 

 

Around 2pm, Perrie comes into the store.  Prior to that, Harry was silent as he moved around the store, since he had nothing to say to Greg, who was still there.

“Louis called,” Perrie says leaning on the counter.  “He seemed a bit worried about you so I figured I’d stop in to see how you were doing.”  Perrie smiles at him, but Harry hasn’t smiled since he got to Niall’s flat that morning.  “What’s the matter, Harry?”

Harry shakes his head. “I can’t really….I can’t—” Harry has trouble finding the words.  “Something happened to Niall and it’s not good…Louis and Liam are with him but—” Harry tries to rationalize it in his head.

“Babes,” Perrie says. She reaches across the counter and takes Harry’s hand.  “If you need to go, I can cover for you.”

Harry shakes his head again. “No…I can’t go back yet…I just…I can’t see him like that.  It’s just that…it’s just that we just started working things out, you know? Decided we weren’t going to keep fighting about the club and all that anymore and then something like this happens…”

“Well,” Perrie says with a soft smile.  “Speaking from experience—” Perrie pauses when Greg comes out of the back room. He eyes the two of them as he walks toward the front door and leaves without saying a word. “From experience,” Perrie continues. “It’s always going to be tough dealing with what they do, but Niall’s one of the good guys, hell the three of them are all good guys and you just have to focus on that.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Harry sets a book down on the counter. “How can you still be friends with them after what happened?”

Perrie lets out a nervous chuckle.  “Million dollar question, innit?” She looks at Harry.  “The truth is that Zayn wasn’t like the three of them. He didn’t just leave, he tried to throw them all under the bus.”

“You know it was one of them that did it though…”

“I always suspected it was Louis, if I’m being honest.” Perrie absentmindedly runs her finger along the edge of the counter.  “Maybe Zayn didn’t deserve to die, but I don’t blame them for what they did.  Zayn knew better and I had to choose between a traitor, who cheated on me more times than I could count, or a club and three boys that were always there for me when he wasn’t. It’s not all bad, what they do, sometimes they get hurt, and sometimes they doing the hurting. But they love deeply, and they take care of their family and friends. Niall loves you, Harry, and you love him, it’s as simple as that.”

 

 

Harry texts Louis that he’s closing the shop early, grabbing some stuff from his flat, and then heading back to Niall’s, but Louis texts back, insisting that he come pick Harry up, which Harry questions since he walked all the way to work by himself that morning but the black Range Rover sits outside his flat when he comes back out. 

“The Medic patched him all up,” Louis says in a light tone. He pulls at his bottom lip with his fingers, keeping only one hand on the wheel. “He’s still not looking great, screwed up his knee again, but The Medic said that Niall’s lucky that he didn’t have any internal damage…”

“Has he said anything?” Harry asks looking over at Louis.

“Nah, he’s been sleeping all day.  The Medic gave him some pretty fun painkillers and an IV drip, said that Niall mostly just needs to sleep.”

 

They make it back to the flat and Harry walks back toward Niall’s room as Liam emerges and gives him a quick smile before going out to the kitchen.

The room is dark with only the bathroom light shining into the bedroom.  Harry sits in the chair at Niall’s bedside.  Fresh sheets and blankets cover the bed since the other ones were covered in Niall’s blood.

Niall’s lying on his back and Harry looks at all the bandages and stiches that cover Niall’s skin.  He knows a lot of them are going to leave scars and it makes him sad to think of Niall having to relive what happened anytime that he sees the marks on his skin.  Maybe that was something that amazed Harry when he first saw Niall’s bare skin after he knew what Niall did for a living, he remembered how unmarked and smooth Niall’s pale skin was on his face and arms compared to the rest of his body where there were faint traces of scars layered on top of one another from over the years. 

Harry reaches out and takes Niall’s hand in his.  He sits there quietly just gently running his thumb over the back of Niall’s hand.  Harry’s tired and hungry, but he doesn’t want to leave Niall’s side. Niall was there for him when he was sick, but it wasn’t any sort of obligation that kept Harry there; he felt more drawn to Niall than ever before and the feeling was easy and uncomplicated.

Harry watches Niall’s chest go up and down in even breaths.  It was so quiet in the room that the movement felt like a firework going off, when Niall’s fingers clenched around Harry’s.

Harry looks up at Niall’s eyes and he can see the tiniest bit of blue peeking out looking over at him.

“Harry?” Niall chokes out.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Harry says trying not to cry again.

“’m sorry,” Niall says. The words seem to hurt him as they come out.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I-I messed up o-our date.”

Harry looks at him with endearing eyes. “It’s fine. We’ll reschedule.”

“Is he awake?”

Harry looks up and sees Louis and Liam standing in the doorway and he nods.

“Thank god,” Liam says and the two of them enter the room.

 

 

Louis sits in the chair beside the bed now as Liam stands behind him with his arms folded across his chest. Harry’s sitting on the other side of the bed holding Niall’s bruised hand as lightly as possible.

“What the hell happened, Nialler?” Louis says. He leans forward, leaning his forearms on the edge of the bed.

Harry knows that they have to do this.  It’s club business, isn’t it?  And the only reason he’s still in the room was because Niall insisted he stay, but Harry feels like it might be too soon for all this. Niall can barely talk and he seemed so tired.

“I was walking te the flat,” Niall says.  His voice is still raw and hard to hear. “I was talking to Harry on the phone and...” The other two glance at Harry before Niall continues. “I thought someone was followin’ me…they just came out of nowhere and I didn’t have me gun—”

Harry can feel the vomit come up his throat but he forces it back down and he stands up from the bed.

“Was it the Roundhousers?” Louis asks next.

Niall lets out a painful sigh and nods. “Yeah, I recognized Donny and Jeremy…I don’t know who the others were.”

Louis and Liam trade a look. “We’ll take care of it,” Louis says and Harry can hear the anger in his voice.

“No…” Niall says shaking his head. “No retaliation.”

“Niall…” Liam tries to reason with him.

“No retaliation,” Niall repeats. “We’ve gotten too far with these negotiations, any retaliation will end that.”

“Niall, they beat the living crap out of you. Clearly, the Roundhousers don’t want the negotiations to happen.”

“No, James wants the negotiations to go through; Donny and Jeremy were against it from the start. They only did this so that we’d retaliate and screw it up for ourselves.” Niall closes his eyes and Harry swears that he can see the pain roll through Niall’s body. “No one can know about this. It was me own fault anyway. I wasn’t thinking.”

Louis shakes his head. “I don’t like this. We’ve got to at least tell Bressie.”

Niall’s eyes clench shut again and he breathes out heavily. “No…I’m too t-tired te deal with this now.”

“How bad does it hurt?” Louis asks in a softer tone.

“I think the drugs are startin’ te wear off,” Niall says.

Harry takes his position back at Niall’s bedside. Niall hand clenching tightly around Harry’s.

Louis gives Niall another dose of whatever drugs The Medic left for Niall and Niall’s grip loosens on Harry’s hand until he fades into sleep again.  

Harry tries to wipe the tears from his face before he gets out into the light of the main area of Niall’s flat.  Harry hands shake slightly as he fills the kettle to make tea.

“What’s wrong, Haz?” Liam asks noticing the slight tremor in Harry’s hands.

Harry turns on the burner and sets the kettle down. He shakes his head, more tears fall down his face, and he’s happy that he’s not facing Louis and Liam, but he can feel their eyes on him. “It’s my fault,” Harry says without turning around.

“Harry, unless you put a hit out on the little leprechaun without telling us, I highly doubt this was your fault,” Louis says gently.

“But it is…” Harry turns and faces them.  He knows that his face probably looks like a mess but he doesn’t like keeping his back to them. “Niall came into the store a few days ago with a gun on him and we got into a fight about it and I asked him not to bring it into the store.  He was at the store earlier in the day yesterday and that’s why he didn’t have a gun on him to protect himself. It’s my fault that this happened.”

Neither of them say anything right away. They both just stare at Harry until Louis finally speaks.

“Harry, you saw the bruises…the knife marks. Had Niall had a gun on him, we’d probably be identifying him for the coroner instead of sitting by his bedside. I don’t think they wanted to kill him but had he drawn on them or had they found a gun on him, they might’ve killed him.  It’s probably for the best that he wasn’t carrying.”

Harry shakes his head and slumps over on the counter. “I can’t do this,” he mumbles into his hands.

Louis goes over and puts a hand on Harry’s back. “You can do this, Harry. He’s going to be fine and you two will be back to doing whatever it is you two, boring people do.”

Harry chuckles as he raises his head. 

“Figure a couple weeks,” Liam chimes in. “And we all get our bouncing baby, Irish sunshine back as good as new.”

 

Harry wakes up the next morning to Louis shaking him awake. He fell asleep in the chair next to Niall’s bed.  He can feel it in his back as he sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“What time is it?” Harry whispers and he can see the silhouette of Louis checking Niall’s IV.

“Just after seven,” Louis says. “The Medic’s going to be here soon to check on him.”

“I guess I’ll be leaving then…” Harry sighs.

“You going to work?” Louis asks and Harry can tell, even in the darkness, that Louis is looking at him.

“Yeah, don’t really have anywhere else to go, do I?” Harry says and he can taste the little bit of bite in his words.  He gets up from the chair and goes into the bathroom to straighten himself up before he leaves for work in the same clothes he wore the day before, but if he leaves soon, he can stop by his flat and change his clothes at least.

Harry comes out of the bathroom and Louis is sitting in the chair beside Niall and he looks over his shoulder at Harry.

“You know it’s not personal, mate,” Louis says quietly but Harry just nods as he goes out into the main area.  He hears the floor creek behind him as Louis follows him. 

Harry grabs his jacket from the back of the couch and he can see Liam in the kitchen out of the corner of his eye.

“You can come back in the afternoon,” Louis tries to comfort Harry.  “The Medic will be gone by then and there are a few things that we have to do with Niall out of the game.”

“Yeah. Sure,” Harry doesn’t look at Louis.

“You want me to give you a lift?” Louis asks and he goes to pick up his keys from the coffee table.

“I’ll be fine.” Harry leaves the flat without saying anything else and walks silently back to his flat where he has just enough time to change his clothes before he goes to open the bookshop.

 

He calls Perrie while he puts up a display of Arthurian Romances and she agrees to come cover for him while he looks after Niall.

“Can you open tomorrow too?” Harry asks when Perrie comes into the shop around 11:30.

“Of course,” Perrie says without a second thought. “Take as much time as you need. Niall needs you more than a crummy old bookshop.”

Harry texts Liam before heading back to Niall’s around 12:30 and gets a simply ‘ok’ reply.  Harry makes sure to grab some extra clothes from his flat on the way there.

 

“He’s been sleeping for the most part. Found his old crutches in the closet,” Liam says pointing to the crutches sitting next to Niall’s bed.  “He’s not supposed to be moving around though. Not that he could if he wanted to, if I’m being honest. We’ll text you when we’re heading back.” Liam leaves the bedroom but Louis lingers in the doorway before he comes in.

“We just have to take care of a few things and then we’ll be back later in the evening.” There’s a beat of silence as Louis looks at Harry for any sign of recognition but sighs and turns for the door. “Keep the door locked. Don’t open it for anyone. There’s a loaded gun in Niall’s nightstand don’t be afraid to use it…” Harry watches Niall’s chest raise up and down. “Keep him safe,” Louis adds and Harry sees his shadow disappear from the room.

Harry hears the door close and the key turning to lock the deadbolt. He sits beside Niall, watching him for a moment before his curiosity gets the best of him, he opens the top drawer of Niall’s nightstand, and he sees the shiny black gun sitting in the back of it.  He closes the drawer and leans back in the chair, staring at Niall’s still swollen and bruised face as he sleeps.

“I don’t understand any of this,” Harry says.  “I guess it’s because I know you didn’t deserve what they did to you but I also know that this isn’t a one sided fight. Whatever negotiations you keep talking about seem a little too late…You did whatever you did to Marcus and Eddie and then the thing on Christmas Eve and the house that you all went into.  You make it seem like what they did to you came out of nowhere, but…I don’t know…maybe I just don’t understand all this the way you do.”

Harry sits there a while longer before he gets up and makes tea.                

Harry falls asleep with his head buried in his arms on the edge of Niall’s bed and wakes up when he feels a hand wrap around his.  He looks up and sees the little bit of blue peeking out of Niall’s eyes.

Niall gives a weak smile, but he seems so calm and content that Harry just smiles back at him, watching as Niall fades back into sleep.

 

Liam and Louis come back in the evening and Liam comes in to check on Niall. Harry can hear Louis moving around out in the kitchen.  Harry sleeps curled up on the bed beside Niall being careful not to touch him, while Liam sleeps in the chair beside Niall, while Louis stayed out on the couch.

“We’re taking over his normal runs, hopefully no one from the crew will know anything happened if everything functions as it normally does. Hopefully no one’s noticed that he’s been gone for two days,” Louis says in the morning when he comes into Niall’s room.  He opens the nightstand and takes out the gun.  Harry can hear the clicking sound it makes as Louis checks to make sure the clip is full. “Same as yesterday. Keep the front door locked and don’t let anyone in.” Louis puts the gun back in the drawer and closes it. “Might not be back ‘til later,” he says and Louis and Liam leave Harry alone with Niall.

 

Harry sits next to Niall’s bed, reading _In Cold Blood_.  He’d put the book away for a while.  He didn’t have as much free time over the past few months, but he needed a way to pass the time while Niall did nothing but sleep all day.  He didn’t have much left, maybe fifty pages or so, but his attention gets deterred when he hears a knock at the front door.

Louis and Liam text first when they are coming back and they each have a key.  Harry pulse starts racing and he looks at Niall hoping for some kind of assurance but Niall just stays sleeping.

Harry sets his book on the nightstand, opens the drawer, and takes the gun.  He doesn’t like the way it feels in his hands but he knows enough about switching the safety off and the basics from Liam giving him a quick rundown of it the night before, but he still doesn’t like it.

He hears the knock again, louder this time. “You better open the damn door, Niall,” a deep Irish voice comes from the other side of the door.

Harry pads, as quietly as possible to the front door, and looks through the peephole and sees a large man with buzzed short hair.

Harry watches the man bang on the door. With no answer, the man turns away. “Fucking Christ,” he mutters under his breath as he heads for the stairs. Harry sighs in relief. He goes back into Niall’s room and puts the gun back into the drawer.

He pulls out his phone and calls Liam. 

“Probably Bressie,” Liam says when Harry tells him about the large, angry, Irishman at Niall’s door.  “He’s already called the both of us trying to get a hold of Niall. Tried convincing him that Niall was fine and that he was with us, but guess he wanted to know for himself. We’re trying to keep this off the clubs radar for as long as possible but who knows how long that will last…”

Harry understands why they don’t want the rest of the club to know about what happened to Niall, but at the same time, he thinks it would probably be easier if they told someone instead of trying to cover for Niall.

 

Louis and Liam don’t come back until almost 7pm and the first thing Harry notices is the black eye that Louis is sporting.

“Fucking sucker punch,” Louis says grabbing a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer. “Fucking douchebag.”

Harry looks to Liam for the proper explanation of what happened.

“Client is used to dealing with Niall, he didn’t take to kindly to us coming in there,” Liam says. “Thought we were trying to steal from him or something.”

“He’s lucky I didn’t put him in the damn hospital,” Louis says from the kitchen.

Liam sighs and sits down on the couch. “He was twice your size, Lou…”

“Kick a man while he’s down, why don’t ya there, Payno,” Louis skirts into Niall’s room with his bag of peas pressed to his face.

 

 

It’s true what people say about bruises getting worse before they get better.

Niall’s face and the bruising on his ribs turns a darker shade of purple-blue and it’s a few days of Harry, Louis, and Liam switching back and forth keeping an eye on him that they see the swelling go down and the bruises turn from purple to yellow. 

With a little help from the boys, Niall can get to the bathroom and Louis lays into Niall the one day when Niall practically crawled into the bathroom by himself. Louis starts yelling about opening up stitches and the possibility of breaking more body parts.

Niall gets a chuckle over Louis’ fussiness with all of it, but Harry still keeps an eye on Niall’s demeanor, especially after Niall woke up all three boys after yelling in his sleep the one night.

Niall kept trying to make jokes and laugh off what happened, but Harry saw it in his eyes.

“’m fine, Hazza,” Niall says to him when he catches Harry glancing at him.

Harry likes being able to properly see the blue in Niall’s eyes again if it wasn’t for the pain hidden in them he’d enjoy it even more. 

“It’s okay if you’re not…” Harry says gently.  He’s been reading the same line of his book over and over; he can’t seem to finish the damn thing even though he knows how it ends.  “I know you want to be…but you don’t have to be…at least not right now.” Harry puts his bookmark in to mark his page and sets down the book on the nightstand.

He watches as Niall picks at the skin around his fingernails. “I haven’t really been sleepin’,” Niall admits.  “I’ve done things to people, but I could always push that to a different part of me brain…but this time—” Niall looks over at Harry then back to his fidgeting hands. “I just can’t stop thinkin’ about it.”

Harry reaches out covers Niall’s hands to calm them. “It’s going to get better,” Harry says but Niall doesn’t look at him. “I’ll let you try to get some sleep.” Harry gets up and starts walking toward the door.

“Harry…” Niall says softly. “Will you stay with me? I can’t sleep in this bed alone.”

Harry can’t help but allow a small smile to creep across his face. “Of course,” Harry says walking back over to the bed.  He’d made it a part of his routine to change into more comfortable clothes when he gets home from work and it makes it easier to crawl under the covers and let Niall meld into his side with his head resting on Harry shoulder. 

“I love you,” Niall says.

“I love you, too.”  Harry lets himself close his eyes and feel Niall’s warmth next to him.  He’d hardly touched Niall at all since all this happened and it was like coming home having Niall next to him again.

Harry wakes up before Niall does and he slips out of bed, trying not to wake him when he goes out to the kitchen. 

He’s got his back turned as he tries to find the oatmeal buried in one of the cabinets, when he hears a loud thunk from the hallway. Harry turns and he sees a foot sticking out.

He runs over to find Niall in the hallway, sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall.

“Are you alright?” Harry kneels down beside him.

Niall looks up at him a laughs. “That did not go as expected.”

“Well you’re not supposed to get out of bed,” Harry says casually.

“I can’t stay in that room, Hazza. Needed a change of scenery,” Niall says and he smiles at Harry.

“You can sit on the couch while I make breakfast,” Harry says and he slides his arm under Niall’s and lifts him off the floor, supporting him as Niall practically hops to the couch.

“What’re you lads going to do when you don’t have to babysit me anymore?” Niall says from the couch when Harry goes back into the kitchen. “Or I guess the better question is, when are you guys going to leave me by myself instead of babysitting me every day?”

“How about when you can move around the flat without falling over?” Harry says sarcastically.  His phone goes off on the counter. There’s a text from Louis saying he’ll be over in a little bit to relieve Harry.  Not that Harry really minds.  He likes spending time with Niall, even if that time involves helping Niall into the bathroom. “Lou will be over soon,” Harry says and Niall sighs dramatically.

“You know, I’ve never seen him act like this before.  This whole over protective thing is starting to get a little weird. Even for him…” Niall stares at nothing in particular until he looks up and meets Harry’s eyes.

“He cares about you, Niall…even said he’d rather have any of us get punched in the face instead of you. You’re his brother.”

“Yeah, I know…I guess I always look at it as being the other way around like I need to protect them. Louis and Liam are older than me, yeah? But I’ve always felt like they were my responsibility. If something happened to either of them, it’d be my fault. If Louis’ too busy worrying about me, something could happen because his head wasn’t in it.”

 

 

A few days later, Harry is at work while Louis is supposed to be with Niall.   Overall, Niall was doing better but he still was having issues getting around by himself.  Louis texts the group chat between the three of them saying Niall’s at the flat by himself, that Louis had to take care of something then he’d be back. 

Niall was tired of having them there all the time anyway.  It wasn’t that they were annoying, but Niall told Harry that he was used to getting some time to himself. Harry tried not to hover when he was looking after Niall, but Niall insisted that it was different with Harry.  Having Harry around made Niall feel more at home than if he was alone.

Harry likes that.  He likes knowing that Niall feels the same way that he does about him.

Harry hears Greg typing away on the computer in the back when the bell over the door rings out and Niall walks in…well it wasn’t really a walk as much as Niall looked like he was going to keel over even with the support of his crutches.

Harry instantly goes to help him sit down at the windowsill. “What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be out of the flat,” Harry says kneeling down in front of Niall, checking him over to make sure that he isn’t bleeding of anything.  

Niall looks at him beneath bruised, heavy eyelids.  His bruises aren’t nearly as painful as before, but the bruising and the cuts on his face are still healing. 

“’m fine,” Niall says trying brush away Harry’s worried hands.

“How did you even get here?”

“Taxi…well sort of…I got a cab and then realized I didn’t have money so he kicked me out.”

“Niall you don’t look very good…” Harry says eyeing Niall.

“I don’t feel very good, so that makes sense.”

“I’m going to call a cab and get you back to the flat before Louis finds out you left.” Harry stands up but Niall catches his hand.

“Please don’t…just not yet anyway,” Niall says looking up at Harry.  “I’m tired, Harry,” he says with a painful expression.

“Well, I can’t imagine why…” Harry says jokingly, trying to get Niall to smile, but Niall’s expression doesn’t change.

“I don’t mean this,” Niall says.  “I mean the job, my life; I’m just tired of it all.  I can’t keep doing this, Hazza. I’m tired of being scared for my friends, for myself, for you.  I just want all of you to be safe but I can’t even take care of myself. I can’t even sleep at night and I don’t understand why.  I’ve seen things…I’ve done things…but when I fall asleep I’m back in that alley thinking that I’m going to die and I just kept thinking about you and how I wanted to see you again. I need to get out, Harry…I need to get away from it.”

Harry puts his hands over Niall’s. He feels the shaking subside under his touch and Niall looks at him with tear filled eyes.

“Then that’s what we do,” Harry says.  “You said that they might let you leave if it was on good terms…so we start there.  Even if it takes a while, Niall, I will be here with you the entire time. As for what’s happening to you now, you have to give it time, try talking about it…I don’t want to say what I think you’re feeling and I don’t know if this has something to do with something that you’ve done…Niall, I don’t know, but whatever you are thinking or feeling, you need to tell me, or Louis, or Liam. Tell someone so we can help you and you don’t have to do this all by yourself.”

The look on Niall’s face is one of brokenness and defeat.  “I can’t stop seeing their faces…hearing their voices and I can’t stop thinking about whether I’ve done that to someone else…If I’m someone’s worst memory…”

Harry brushes the tear falling down Niall’s cheek.  “If that’s the case…then you learn from this, Niall. You make sure that you don’t fall into the same habits and you make sure that you never do something like this to anyone.” Harry looks directly into Niall eyes. “You can’t change the past…but the decisions you make from here on out are yours to make so if you want something to change then you have to start changing things now and change the future.”

Niall leans forward and puts his arms around Harry, hugging him closely.  Harry hears the floor boards creak behind him, but he doesn’t care if Greg is standing there or not.  Niall needs him right now and that’s where Harry keeps his focus; on the fragments of Niall that are trying to glue themselves back together again.

 

Harry texts Louis about half an hour later that Niall’s at the bookshop and it’s not long before he sees the black Range Rover park out front.

Louis comes into the shop, arms folded across his chest. He shakes his head and looks at Niall. “I thought they came for you,” Louis says with a bite of anger in his voice.  “I thought you might be dead when I got back and you were gone.” Louis breathes in and out a heavy breath. “Don’t you ever do that again.”

“Sorry Lou,” Niall says quietly.

“You should be,” Louis steps up next to Niall who is still sitting on the windowsill. “Come on, let’s get you home. You look like shite.” Louis helps Niall get to his feet and helps him outside to the Range Rover, and after he gets Niall settled in, he comes back into the shop, looking at Harry with a concerned expression. “Bit of cabin fever?” Louis says almost jokingly.

“Little bit, yeah,” Harry says quietly. “Just uh…keep an eye on him. His brain is going a mile a minute. He’s not in the best headspace.”

“Always carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, that one…” Louis says looking out the front window to Niall sitting in the Range Rover with his head leaning against the window.

“I’ll be by after work,” Harry says and Louis gives a quick nod before he goes back out of the shop.

 

 

A week later, Niall’s back to work.  Louis insists that either him or Liam come with him for job stuff since Niall’s still a little slow moving with his knee brace on. 

Niall crawls into bed with Harry in the evening. It was more effort than Niall anticipated getting back into the swing of things and he’s tired beyond belief.  He wraps his arm around Harry. “God I missed you today,” Niall says placing a gentle kiss on Harry’s neck, nuzzling his face into Harry’s hair. 

Harry’s back is pressed against Niall’s chest and he sinks into the warmth of Niall’s body.  It was calming having Niall with him and being able to touch him again.  There were still the scars and the faint bruises on Niall’s skin, but the important part was that Niall was beginning to act like himself again.

 

Harry wakes up in the morning with Niall still draped over him.  There’s a knock at the front door that startles Harry and wakes Niall.

“Jesus Christ,” Niall mumbles under his breath. He looks at the clock on the nightstand. “Who the hell is here at five in the damn mornin’?” They hear the knock again; louder this time, and Niall crawls out of bed and pulls on a pair of sweatpants. Harry doesn’t miss the fact that Niall takes the gun out of the nightstand, tucking it into the back of his pants before he goes to the door. 

Harry turns over and sits up slightly as he listens. He can hear Niall unlocking all the locks on the front door. “What’re you doin’ here, Brez? What’s going on?” He hears Niall say.

“I think the better question is where the hell have you been, Niall?” Bressie says angrily. “I haven’t heard from you or seen you in almost a month and aside from Louis and Liam telling me that you were alive, I had no idea what was going on with you!”

“Shit happened, Brez. We took care of it,” Niall states. 

“Took care of what? I mean what could have possibly happen that you’d think it was okay to go MIA for that long—” Bressie’s cut short.  “What the hell is this?” Harry hears him say. “Who the fuck is here, Niall?”

Harry hears footsteps coming closer and the bedroom door flies open and Bressie stares at Harry as if he had some sort of disease.

Bressie turns to Niall, every sort of anger showing on his face. “Is this what you’ve been doing? Is this the reason you’ve been slacking on your job, Niall? You’ve been too busy fucking the kid from the bookshop to do the job that you signed up to do…”

Niall’s eyes flicker over to meet Harry’s before he looks back at Bressie, but Harry’s too scared to move.

“Fucking hell,” Bressie says under his breath before he walks past Niall, practically shoving Niall out of the way. 

Niall gives one last look at Harry before he closes the door.

As soon as the door closes, Harry gets out of the bed and starts shoving on clothes.

“It’s not like that Bressie,” Niall says. Their voices are muffled by the door but Harry can still hear them. “A few of the Roundhousers beat the livin’ crap outta me. I’ve laid up in bed for weeks. I didn’t want anyone to know and fuck up the truce, so I’ve been trying to lay low. I’ve only gone back to it for the last week or so.”

“Fucking Christ, Niall!” Bressie shouts at him. “I mean, what about the last few runs this week? The boys told me that you were supposed to be on those but you decided against going? And you look fine to me, now so what’s your excuse for that?”

Niall sighs. “I’ve been lightening my load,” Niall says softly. “Been trying to cut back to make sure that everything would run fine without me…”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I’m working towards getting out of it all together…”

“You’re trying to leave?” Bressie says in disbelief. “It’d be easier to become a brain surgeon than to get out. You can’t leave.”

“I’ve read the bylaws, Bressie. I can ask the head of the organization to allow me to leave. Make a formal petition…all I have to do is get it signed off.”

There’s a beat of silence between them as Harry listens in from the bedroom.

“It’s that kid isn’t it?” Bressie says. “He’s got your head all fucked up and has got you thinking that you can leave.”

“It’s not him, Brez. It’s me. I’ve been thinking about leaving for a while now. And with all the shit that’s happened and with the negotiations almost being finalized…I’ve realized that I can’t keep doing this.  I’ve fucked most of my life up and the club isn’t what it used to be…I can’t do it anymore.”

“I brought you here with me,” Bressie says in almost a hurt tone. “You were supposed to take over for me.”

“I know…”

“…I hope you know what you are doing, Niall. I can’t watch what happened with Zayn, happen with you too.”

“It won’t, Brez…I promise. I’m going about this the smart way. I’m not going to chance any of it.”

“Good. Then I’ll see you later at the pub.”

Harry hears the front door open and close. He stays sitting on the bed when the door to the bedroom opens and Niall walks in and sits down beside him.

“You know what you’re doing, right?” Harry says looking over at Niall.

Niall nods. “I do…I just don’t know if it’ll all work out or not.”

“Even if it doesn’t,” Harry starts to say. “Even if you can’t get out, I’m not leaving you…I just thought you should know that.”

Niall give a small smile. “You’re too good for me,” he says leaning his head on Harry’s shoulder.

“No, I just love you.” Harry places a gentle kiss on Niall’s head as they sit there dreaming about what the future has in store for them.

 

 

The Holland’s come back from their trip near the end of May.  They look different from what Harry remembered and maybe it was because they were on vacation for more than half a year, but he’s happy when they tell him that he can take some time off and that he did a good job taking care of the bookstore. 

Mr. Holland pulls him aside and apologizes about not telling him about the issues with the gang stuff.  Harry hates having to tell them about how the store is no long neutral territory after what happened.  Niall even comes in and explains the new situation to Mr. Holland, but ensures him that he doesn’t have to worry about the bookstore. 

With his newly found freedom from the bookstore, Niall takes Harry to The Lumineers concert.  Harry notices afterward that Niall picks up his guitar a lot more, playing random things during commercials while they watch TV or while he’s waiting on food to finish cooking.  They even get to go on uninterrupted dates and some days, Harry forgets all about the LIC; he was too busy looking forward to his future with Niall. 

 

Niall comes home one evening.  His face is pale and his eyes void.

“Niall?” Harry starts looking him over, looking for any sign of something being wrong. “Niall what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Niall shakes his head slowly.  His eyes start filling with tears. “They’re letting me leave…” he says quietly.

“What?” Harry says out of surprise and confusion.

“I had a meeting with the head of the LIC today and I told him that I would like to leave the organization, that all my jobs were covered, I even asked him if Louis and Liam could leave and he…he agreed.”  Niall looks at Harry, moving from shock to happiness. “They’re letting me leave, Harry.” Niall smiles wide and Harry can’t help but smile back at him as he wraps his arms around Niall, hugging him tightly. “I can’t believe this is actually happening,” Niall says holding Harry as close as possible.

 

 

Harry watches from the kitchen as Louis and Liam sit in the living room staring at Niall, waiting for him to say something.  To be fair, Niall was a little vague on why they needed to come over so out of the blue, only that it was important.

“If you lads could do anything,” Niall starts to say. “What would you do?” He looks at the pair of them, Louis and Liam both looking at him with confused expressions.  “Like if you weren’t in the club and you could do anything or go anywhere, what would it be?”

They both think about it for a moment, but Louis is the first one to say anything.

“I’d go see my family again,” Louis says without a second thought. “Maybe even marry Eleanor.”

“Yeah, same,” Liam says.  “I mean not about marrying Eleanor, but I’d go see my family and try to live a normal life…become a firefighter or somethin’.”

“I don’t get why any of this matters though. You know we can’t put our families in danger like that,” Louis says looking back at Niall.

“Well that’s what I wanted to talk to you both about,” Niall says. “I’m looking to get out of the LIC, I’ve already talked to the head man and he’s agreed to let me go once the negotiations are finalized…and he’s also allowed for the two of you to leave as well.”

“Wait what?” Liam says almost instantly.

“There’s no way that it’s that easy,” Louis chimes in.

“There’s some paperwork we have to sign that basically says that if we work against the LIC in anyway or talk to the cops, then we give permission for the LIC to kill us, which is the nice way of saying what they’ll do, but I made a case for us.  I talked about how we trained the people under us and how we’ve helped get these negotiations going, so they are letting us go. Basically, we’re leaving the club better than we found it.  They’ve got a lot more recruits coming…they don’t need us anymore, once everything is finalized.

Liam has tears streaming down his face and Louis looks to be on the verge of crying.

“I’m going to get to see my family again?” Louis asks looking at Niall.

Niall nods and Louis finally breaks down. Niall wraps them both into a hug and Harry can’t help but smile at the three of them, trying to keep himself from crying.  They all have a chance to go home.

 

A couple weeks go by and Niall stops by the bookstore in the morning. 

“Ah, Mr. Horan!” Mr. Holland says when Niall walks in through the front door.

“Mornin’ Mr. Holland,” Niall gleams back. “Just came by to see Harry.”

Harry emerges from the rows of shelves. “What are you doing here?” Harry says trying to contain the smile on his face. “You just saw me an hour ago.”

“Yes, but I failed to mention something to you before you left,” Niall says in a lower tone and Mr. Holland gets the hint and goes into the back room. 

“You could’ve just texted,” Harry says.

“I’m going to be in meetings the next couple days and we’re not allowed our phones, so if there’s an emergency you’ll have to call Louis or Liam and if that doesn’t work out.” Niall slips Harry a piece of paper with an address on it.  “I’ll be at this address if you need me, but that’s only for emergencies. Honestly, I should have told you about it a while back just in case anything happened and you couldn’t get a hold of me. But with these negotiations, and after what happened to me, I don’t want to take any chances, yeah?”

“Okay,” Harry says with a bit of leeriness.

“I’m not trying to scare ya, but I just want to cover all me bases, just in case.”

“I feel like whenever someone says ‘just in case’ that sets it up for something to go wrong.”

“It’ll be fine, babe,” Niall says kissing Harry’s forehead, before he goes to the door. “I’ll see you for dinner, yeah?” Niall gives cheeky smile before he exits the store, jogging across the street to his Range Rover.

Harry shakes his head, shoving the slip of paper into his pocket before he goes back to work.

He practically waits for something to go wrong all day and it’s not until he’s settling into bed with Niall that he finally lets it go.

 

Harry’s in the back room at the shop, moving some boxes around, when he hears the bell chime over the door and Mr. Holland great whomever it is.  He’s just out of earshot when he thinks he hears the customer ask for Harry by name. 

Mr. Holland pokes his head in the back. “Harry?” he says quietly. “There’s a couple detectives here that want to talk to you.”

Harry stomach sinks and he almost wants to call Niall on the spot, but then he remembers what Niall said the day before about not having his phone on him.  So, Harry bites the bullet and goes out into the front of the shop. 

Two men stand there in cheap suits and the first thing Harry notices are the guns in the holsters on their hips.

“Are you Harry Styles?” the one with the grey hair asks and Harry nods when he steps behind the counter in front of them.

The second one fishes a couple of photos out of his jacket pocket and sets them down on the counter in front of Harry. “Do you recognize either of these men?” the detective asks. 

And unfortunately, Harry recognizes both of them. He looks at the detectives and nods timidly.  “They came in here a while back, September maybe?” Harry knows damn well that it was September that all that started. “I didn’t think much of it at first, but then they came in a second time and started knocking things over—”

“Do you know why they might’ve done that?” the grey haired detective asks.

Harry shrugs and shakes his head.  He points at the picture of Marcus, “He grabbed me, said that the truce involving the bookstore was no longer in effect, and that if I didn’t cooperate with them that they’d be back, but I never saw them again.”

The detective takes the photos and puts them back in his pocket.  “Alright, that’s all the questions we have for now, but we might need to speak with you again if we think of anything else you might be able to help us with.”

Harry gives an understanding nod and the detectives step toward the door. “Can I ask what you’re looking into for? I mean did something happen at another store or something?”

The grey haired detective shakes his head. “These men were found buried outside of town and rumor was that they had some issues involving this store.  This is a murder investigation so if you can think of anything that may help us, let us know.”

“You have a nice day.”  

The two detectives exit the bookstore and Harry closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. 

“I might be an old man,” Mr. Holland says, standing in the doorway leading to the back room. “But I have a feeling that a lot more happened than what you told those two men.”

“I didn’t lie,” Harry says turning around to look at Mr. Holland. “I just didn’t tell them every little detail.”

Mr. Holland waves him off. “Sometimes keeping peace around here involves the police keeping their dirty noses out of all this business.  But I suggest you let our mutual friend know that something is going on.” Mr. Holland gives Harry a knowing smile before he disappears into the back room.

 

Mr. Holland lets Harry leave a half an hour early.  He stops at the grocery store, and maybe it was spending so much time with Niall that kept him very aware of whether someone was watching him that had him slip into the store to come out with only a candy bar, but he didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, but he didn’t trust his phone either, so he went to the address on the slip of paper Niall gave him the day before.

It was a dirty Irish pub on the LIC’s side of town.  The front door was open but the pub was empty aside from a familiar face sitting alone at the bar.

“Harry? What the hell are you doing here?” Liam says when he sees Harry walk in through the front door.

“Where’s Niall?” Harry asks, ignoring Liam’s question.

“He’s in a meeting. You shouldn’t be here. Did something happen at the store?”

“Two detectives came by the bookshop looking for me,” Harry says in a low tone. “They found Marcus and Eddie’s bodies outside of town.”

Liam rubs his face in disbelief.  “Alright, stay here, Lou’s upstairs and Niall should be out in a few minutes.”

Liam disappears up a narrow set of stairs in the back corner of the pub and Harry stands there awkwardly, waiting for any familiar face to show up.

All around the pub there are various Irish flags and Harry recognizes the London Irish Crew’s clover sigil on the wall behind the bar from Louis and Liam’s tattoos. 

“Harry?”

Harry turns to see Niall along with Bressie and a few men he doesn’t know come out of a room in the back.

“What…” Niall comes over and stands in front of Harry. “What are you doing here? Did something happen? You’re not hurt are you?” Niall immediately starts checking Harry for any marks.

“I’m fine,” Harry says taking Niall’s hands to still them. “I’m fine,” he repeats.  “Detectives came to the bookstore asking about Marcus and Eddie…the police found their bodies, Niall.  I didn’t want to chance calling or texting any of you, so I made sure I wasn’t being followed then came here.”

Liam comes back down the stairs followed by Louis.

“Payno’s just filled me in,” Louis says. “What’s our play here, Nialler?”

Niall sighs. “For now, we do nothing. We start making plays to early and we’re going to paint targets on all our backs.  We just got to wait and see what happens.”

 

 

A few days later, Liam gets called into the police station for questioning, which prompts Niall to tell Bressie what’s going on. 

So, Harry once again sits on Niall’s bed listening in on Niall and Bressie’s argument about Niall being stupid for getting involved with Harry and the bookstore, and how this could screw up the negotiations if the Roundhousers find out who killed Marcus and Eddie.  But Bressie says that he’ll help them out if they need him but that he doesn’t know if this gets out if the three of them will still be able to leave if anything gets fucked up.

 

 

A month goes by and they don’t hear much more about the investigation into Marcus and Eddie’s deaths.  Niall and Louis along with a couple other members of the London Irish Crew were brought in to talk to the police, but they’d all gotten their stories straight by then. They didn’t think much of it when it seemed like the investigation had gone on too long without any breakthroughs.

Harry had most of his flat packed up already and Niall’s flat was full of boxes as the two of them got ready to leave. 

“I figure that I can donate some of my books to the store, so we don’t have to take all of them,” Harry says as he and Niall sit at the counter eating dinner together.

“Yeah, I’m trying to figure out what I should get rid of and what I should keep.  Don’t need as many guns as I have, probably just give ‘em to Bressie.” Niall laughs. “I’m really looking forward to having conversations where I can’t equate your book collection to my gun collection.”

Harry smiles at him. “Guitars,” he says casually.

“What about them?”

“Wherever we end up, you should get more guitars…that way I can have my books and you can have your music,” Harry says a-matter-of-factly.

“A music room and a library…I could be very into that,” Niall says smiling as he leans back in his chair, but Harry watches as the smile fades away from Niall’s face.

“What’s wrong, Niall?” Harry reaches out intertwining his fingers with Niall’s.

“One last job…” Niall says without looking at Harry. “There’s a meet set up for tomorrow night with the Roundhousers and the LIC, they have medicine that needs to be shipped to Ireland, so we give them the money, we get the drugs, and a lot of people finally get the medication they need…” Niall looks up at Harry.  “I talked to the head of the LIC yesterday, we all signed the paperwork and after tomorrow, the heads of the crews are meeting, the negotiations will be finalized, one last job and the three of us are done…free to go.”  There’s a bittersweet smile on Niall’s face. 

Harry leans in and kisses Niall.

“I love you,” Niall says. He looks at Harry. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of me life with you.”  Niall leans in and kisses Harry more intently. His fingers tangle themselves in Harry’s hair as he depends the kiss and Harry starts unbuttoning Niall’s shirt, his hands running down Niall’s bare chest.  

Niall slides off his chair, slotting himself between Harry’s legs, hand running up Harry’s thigh.  Harry’s long legs wrap around Niall’s waist, pulling him in closer, their kiss getting deeper in the process, but then Niall scoops Harry up by his ass, lifting Harry off the chair, laughing into each other’s mouths.

It probably looked ridiculous from an outside perspective. Harry’s gangly legs wrapped around Niall’s narrow waist and Niall’s noodle legs carrying their weight.  

Niall carries Harry into the bedroom, laying down as gently as possible, pulling Harry’s t-shirt over his head and throwing it on the floor.  Niall peppers kisses up and down Harry’s body, fingers fumbling with unbuttoning Harry’s jeans.

The room is hot and Harry’s mind goes hazy as Niall pulls down his jeans and briefs at the same time.  Harry smiling as Niall undoes his own pants, sliding them off, kicking them out of the way. In the dim light, Harry can see the scars going up and down Niall’s body, until he sees a dark spot on Niall’s side.

“What’s this?” Harry says gently gliding his hands over the spot.  And that’s when Harry realizes that it’s not a bruise but a small sparrow tattoo. 

“Got it after me bruises healed…surprised you hadn’t noticed it yet,” Niall says smiling at Harry.

“I thought you didn’t want tattoos…”

“I didn’t, but I want you to be with me wherever I go…no matter what happens.”

Harry can’t help but smile as he pulls Niall down on top of him. “I will love you forever,” Harry says under his breath.

Niall looks Harry in the eye.  “And I will never stop loving you back.”

Their bodies move so effortlessly together. Feeling every inch of the other against them; their skin slick with sweat as they refuse to separate from one other.

 

 

Harry spends the next day helping Niall get his flat packed up.  The process would go faster, as Harry says multiple times, if Niall would stop trying to get Harry naked.

Niall gets a call from Liam later in the evening while he and Harry were washing the dishes from dinner.

“Are you sure?” Niall says into the phone. Niall rubs his face with his free hand. “Alright, just stay on your toes, yeah. Make sure Louis knows what’s going on and I’ll call Bressie. Stay safe, Liam. Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

Niall hangs up the phone.

“What’s going on?” Harry puts the plate back into the cupboard. 

“Apparently, there was a little bit of unrest after the meeting this afternoon with the Roundhousers.”

“Unrest?” Harry questions.

“Nothing to worry about, Hazza,” Niall says as he starts dialing another number into his phone.

“Hey, Brez…” Niall wanders off into the bedroom while Harry finishes with the dishes. 

When Niall comes back out, he sighs and chucks his phone on the couch.

Harry leans against the counter, he watches Niall for a moment before saying anything.

“Niall…maybe you shouldn’t go to this thing tonight,” Harry says calmly.

“I have to go, Haz,” Niall says. “Bressie…Louis and Liam are going to be there and I’m not going to leave them to deal with it.  Every trade or deal needs a captain; in this case, it’s Bressie, and a lieutenant; which is me.  I can’t just bail on them.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Niall…I’m saying that maybe none of you should be going.”

“One last job,” Niall reiterates from the night before. 

“I know, I just…” Harry pauses.  “With the call from Liam and even before that…I don’t have a good feeling about it all, I guess.”

Niall cocks a smile and walks toward Harry until he can wrap his arms around Harry’s waist.  “One. Last. Job, Hazza.” Niall kisses Harry on the nose, smiling like an idiot.

“I still don’t like it,” Harry says when Niall goes back to packing stuff.

“How much more do you have to pack at yours?” Niall asks changing the subject.

“Few things…some stuff I’m waiting to pack away until the last minute.”

“Like what?” Niall says over his shoulder as he starts putting his collection of albums into a box.

“Important stuff that I don’t want to misplace,” Harry says he walks toward the living room.

Niall’s lets out a small chuckle.  He opens the stereo and places a CD on the tray.  It takes a moment for the music to start, but Harry recognizes it right away.  “Remember this?” Niall says and he starts dancing along to the music as he inches closer to Harry. 

“’Monday Morning’,” Harry smiles at him.

“Little bit of Fleetwood Mac makes all worries go away,” Niall says as he takes Harry by the hand and starts swaying back and forth.  He spins Harry around, making him giggle.  “Right back where we started,” Niall says. “But it’s a million times better than I could have ever imagined.” 

Despite the upbeat tempo of the music, Harry rests his head against Niall’s shoulder as they sway back and forth until the song ends and Harry can’t help but wrap his arms around Niall, burying his face in Niall’s neck. 

They stay like that for a long moment before Niall’s phone goes off on the couch and Harry recognizes the alarm tone.  Niall sighs, but doesn’t stop hugging Harry. “I’ll be back before you know it,” he says before he gives one final squeeze before he lets go.  Niall puts his hand to Harry’s cheek, lifting Harry’s head so he’ll look at him.  “I love you so much,” Niall says. “And I know I say it all the time, but it is so important to be that you know that and that you hear it every day because I have loved you since the day we met and I will never stop loving you.”

“I love you too,” Harry says back and he can feel it in every ounce of himself.  He is so absolutely in love with Niall Horan and he will do anything to hold onto him.

Niall hugs Harry one more time before he grabs his phone from the couch and heads for the door.  “One more job,” Niall says with a smile looking back at Harry before he closes the door and Harry listens for the faint sounds of Niall’s footsteps as he goes down the stairs.

 

Harry goes back to his own flat after Niall leaves.  He starts moving things around.  It seems like every time he filled a box up he just left it where it was so his entire flat was just a minefield of boxes and bags. He starts moving them to the open space in front of the window in the tinys living room.  Box by box until all the full boxes where in one place.  He’d picked up so much extra stuff since he got to London.  It was the first place that he stayed in for a long period of time since he got home and now he was planning on leaving again, and this time, he’d be even further away from his family.  Once the boxes piled up by the front window, all ready to go, Harry goes back into his tiny bedroom and starts pulling clothes out of his wardrobe, stacking them neatly into the boxes marked ‘clothes’.  His suitcases were already filled with the clothes from his closet, his shoes, and bedding. 

He’s emptying his sock drawer when he finds it; the small blue velvet box.  He opens the lid, and nestled into the box is a silver ring, NH & HS etched into the inside of the band. He can feel his heart beat faster in his chest as he looks at the ring.

His phone rings on the floor next to him, but when Harry sees Louis’ name come on the screen he immediately closes the small box and answers the phone.

“Louis?” Harry says, but he doesn’t mean for it to come out as panicked as is sounds. “What’s wrong?”

Louis lets out a shaky breath on the other side of the line. “Harry…”

Harry heart feels like it stops at the tone of Louis’ voice. “Louis…Louis where’s Niall?”

“I’m so sorry, Harry…”

Harry’s breath hitches and he feels like he’s going to vomit. “Is he…is he dead?” Harry chokes out.

“No…I don’t know…it was a trap, Harry….Niall he…he jumped in front of Bressie and—”

“Louis, is Niall dead?” Harry says more firmly.

“We got him to the hospital…they took him into surgery,” Louis pauses. “It was bad, Harry. It looked really bad. I don’t know if he’s going to—” Louis cuts himself off. “You need to get here, Harry. He needs you here.”

 

***ONE HOUR EARLIER***

 

Niall drives, following behind Bressie, there are a few more cars behind him.  He looks into the rearview mirror to make sure they’re still behind him, but catches Louis’ gaze from the backseat.

The three of them are quiet the entire drive to the meeting place.  They get there before the Rounderhousers.  There are eighteen members of the London Irish Crew with them, including the three of them.  A few younger faces that Niall only recognizes from the induction process.  

Niall steps out of the Range Rover, hand automatically checking for the gun tucked into the back of his pants. 

The area is quiet and out of the way, a neutral ground that the Roundhousers suggested, but Niall had taken Louis and Liam out there a couple days beforehand to get an idea of the area so they weren’t going in blind. 

When the Roundhousers finally show up, Niall realizes that they are greatly outnumbered two to one. 

“Harry was right,” Niall says under his breath.

“What?” Liam whispers to him.

“I’d don’t have a good feeling about this,” Niall says so that only Louis and Liam can hear him from where they stand beside him.

“So, it’s not just me, then?” Louis says through clenched teeth.

“What do we do?” Liam whispers glancing over at Niall.

“Keep an eye on each other,” Niall says. “I’ll cover Brez.” Niall takes a few steps toward the front so he’s standing just behind Bressie as the Roundhousers file out of their vehicles, guns catching Niall’s eye as the metal reflects the car lights.

“You got our money?” Mitch, a captain in the Roundhousers crew steps to the front.  He stands far enough in front of Bressie that it gives Niall a fairly good view of all their men.

Bressie motions for the money to be brought to the front. “It’s all there,” Bressie says.

Mitch nods his head. “Good,” he says. “All these negotiations going on, I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to make a business transaction, but in all fairness…the negotiations are a bit shit, aren’t they?”

Niall sees the glint of the gun, and pushes Bressie out of the way before it goes off.  He falls to the ground as a hail of gunfire erupts around him. The sound of bullets going through flesh and car windows make it hard to hear anything else. The noise is so loud in Niall’s ears, but all he can focus on is the pain in his head and in his stomach.  The pain is white hot and burns throughout his whole body as he lies there watching the cracks of gunfire shoot out above him. 

“Niall!”

Even in his haze, Niall sees Louis kneeling next to him, terror in his eyes. “You’re going to be okay,” Louis says but it sounds like he’s underwater.

“H-Harry,” Niall chokes out but he’s not sure he’s even said it aloud until Louis looks him in the eye as if Niall was a sick dog.

Louis flinches at the sound guns being fired right next to him. “We gotta get you out of here,” Louis says and he starts dragging Niall across the ground, trying to stay hunched over, until someone tackles Louis to the ground causing him to drop Niall.

Louis gets on top of the guy and hits him over and over again until Louis stands and takes the gun out of his waistband and puts a bullet in the guy’s chest.

“You’re going to be okay,” Louis says again and he starts pulling Niall again.  “Liam!” Louis shouts out, more as a painful cry.  Louis drags Niall back toward the Range Rover.  Bullet holes in the passenger’s side and front windshield. 

Louis looks up and sees Liam struggling with a LIC member.  “Fucking Christ!” Louis shouts out. “Don’t you go anywhere on me!” he yells at Niall before he runs back into the chaos.

Louis pulls the guy off of Liam, throwing him to the ground and this time puts a bullet in the guy’s head.  Louis helps Liam to his feet and the two of them get Niall into the backseat of the Range Rover. Louis drives, hands slick with blood as Liam holds onto Niall in the backseat. 

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Liam mutters.

“H-Harry,” Niall chokes out again. “Harry.”

“You’re going to see him again, Niall,” Liam says, Niall leaning into Liam’s side as Liam tries to keep pressure on Niall’s stomach. “We’re going to keep both of you safe. Everything’s going to be fine,” Liam repeats. 

“Harry,” Niall breathes out and his head falls limp against Liam’s shoulder.

“Louis, drive faster,” Liam states as tears begin falling from his eyes.

“It’s going to be alright, Nialler,” Liam mutters, holding Niall close. “Everything’s going to be fine…”

They get to hospital and Liam carries Niall from the car into the emergency room. 

“We need help!” Louis shouts and an array of nurses and doctors appear and push a gurney in front of Liam, where he carefully sets Niall down. “He’s been shot,” Louis says as they begin their examination and whisk Niall off away from them.

 

***PRESENT***

Harry walks through the doors of the emergency room and can’t help but notice the blood on the floor.  He first sees Louis, sitting, head buried in his hands, muttering to himself.

Louis looks up and sees Harry standing there.

“Harry…”

Suddenly, Harry can’t bring himself to move.  He stands there staring at Louis, everything becoming real when he sees the blood covering Louis’ shirt and arms.

His breathing gets heavy when Louis stands in front of him. “H-How is he?”

“He’s still in surgery.”

“H-How bad?” Harry asks the question but he’s not sure he wants to know the answer.

“He got hit in the stomach...and in the head.  There was a lot of blood, when I saw him go down, and I finally got to him, I thought he was gone, but he looked at me, Harry. He looked at me and said you name, and that’s got to count for something.”

Harry nods, he thinks that if he doesn’t say anything that he won’t start crying but the tears well up in his eyes anyway when Liam comes around the corner and sees him.

“Harry.”

Liam’s eye is already starting to bruise, his lip is cut on the corner, and he has even more blood on him than Louis, but his arms are clean and Harry figures that he went to the bathroom to try and clean up. Liam looks absolutely devastated when he sees Harry. 

Harry doesn’t move as Liam closes the space between them and tentatively wraps his arms around Harry. And it’s not until then that Harry feels the weight of the situation finally come down on him and he holds Liam tightly as he sobs. Liam gestures for Louis to join them and Harry wonders if they’ve cried yet, because none of them are dry-eyed now as they hold each other as closely as possible. Liam fist crumpling Louis’ shirt.

 

 

Harry sits in the waiting room watching as Louis and Liam talk to the police officers about the circumstances around Niall getting shot. 

“He doesn’t have any club ink,” Liam said prior to speaking to the cops.  “Aside from being Irish, there’s nothing tying him to the crew that anyone will know about unless they dig deep enough.”

They hadn’t heard from any of the other members of the LIC, but from what they told Harry, they can’t really trust anyone. 

The cops know about the shootout between the Roundhousers and the London Irish Crew, but Liam and Louis cover up their club tattoos and come up with the best excuse that they can manage in a short amount of time, which involved Niall being mugged.

The surgery takes almost seven hours to complete and when they finally get to see Niall, the even sound of the heart monitor is what makes Harry’s stomach roll and he stops in the doorway, only stepping inside when Liam puts a comforting hand on Harry’s back and leads him in.  The sound of the heart monitor is only trumped by the bandages covering Niall’s head.

According to the doctors, the blood loss and the swelling in his brain are the biggest worries. Despite being shot in the head, the damage wasn’t bad, the neurosurgeon explains how the bullet that they recovered was a smaller caliber and shot from further away than the one in his stomach.

By the way the doctor talks about it, Louis suspects that if Niall hadn’t pushed Bressie out of the way, the bullet would have hit him dead on.

“This wasn’t just some random thing,” Louis says pacing back and forth in Niall’s room, while Liam and Harry sit in the chairs at Niall’s bedside.  “There was no way that him getting hit in the head makes any sense.” Louis looks up at Liam and Harry. “They were aiming to take Niall out.”

“Then why only go for a stomach shot on Bressie? He’s a captain; he out ranks Niall,” Liam states.

“I don’t know, Liam.  I’m just thinking out loud here,” Louis bites back.

“What if it was about Niall getting beat up?” Harry interjects. He watches Niall’s chest raise up and down before he looks across the bed to Liam, who then looks over at Louis.

“It makes sense, Lou,” Liam says. “The beating on Niall was supposed to mess up the negotiations, if Niall was right, they wanted us to retaliate to mess it up. Maybe Niall not telling anyone about it pissed them off, so they wanted to take him out of the equation first chance they got. And with Bressie? I mean, half of the LIC thinks that Niall is the one running things anyway. Bressie wasn’t as much of a threat.”

Louis shakes his head. “I don’t like this.  The asshole that got you,” Louis points at Liam, “was one of our own guys.”

Liam rubs his face. “And we don’t know how far up the ranks it goes.”

Harry instinctively takes Niall’s hand in his and tries to relax his breathing, that seemed to get more intense the more he heard Liam and Louis talk about what happened.

“Someone need to always be here with him,” Louis says about Niall. “Are you carrying?” Louis asks looking at Liam and Liam nods.  “Alright…Look, I’m going to pick up a few things for us, change of clothes, passports, that sort of thing, and I’ll be right back.”

“Louis, you shouldn’t go by yourself,” Liam says.

“Don’t have much of a choice,” Louis admits. “I’ll keep me eyes open, Payno, you just do the same for the two of them and yourself, yeah?”  Louis gives a quick nod before he exits the room.

 

Harry thankful that it’s only an hour that the door opens and Louis comes in with bags of whatever crap they need.

“Now what?” Harry asks quietly.

“Now we wait,” Louis says dropping into one of the chairs.

And it is an endless waiting…Bressie contacts Louis and tells him to sit tight and not to tell anyone where they are or what their plans are.  Louis also finds out that of the eighteen members of the LIC that were at the meet, not including Bressie, Liam, Louis, and Niall, five were dead, six were injured, and four were traitors, which thanks to Louis, two were already dead.

Five days it what it takes for things to change. 

Harry’s trying to stay awake at Niall’s side holding his hand, but he’s losing the fight.

“You okay, Haz?” Liam asks calmly.

Harry rubs his eyes with his free hand and nods. “Yeah, ‘m fine. Just need him to wake up.”

Liam gives a small smile, but that’s when Harry feels the slight twitch in his hand and he looks form Niall’s hand, to Liam and Louis, and then to Niall’s face where his blue eyes are peeking ever so slightly through heavy eyelids.

“Holy shit,” Louis says leaning forward.

“Niall?” Harry questions, but he remembers what the doctor said about memory loss, loss of speech, the rest of the horrible things that could happen to someone with a brain injury.

Niall’s lips part and it looks like he wants to say something, making the other three boys share a worried look among one other, but then Niall’s eyes look at Harry, and the tiniest hint of a smile comes across Niall’s face.  “H-Harry,” Niall manages to say.  It was almost less than a whisper, but Harry’s face lights up, because he’s looking at the most miraculous man in the world, the man that he in beyond overly in love with.

 

The longer Niall is awake for, the more at ease all of them feel.  He starts talking more, and it takes a while, and things seemed rocky for a while, but they’re all just happy to have Niall back with them. 

Louis keeps a close eye on Niall though and the two of them trade looks every now and then that Liam catches onto, but Harry doesn’t notice.

Harry’s tired and Louis and Liam see it, but whenever Niall’s awake, Harry’s right there with him. Niall had a good day. He’d gotten back the brightness in his eyes and he was practically like his old self.

“You should go home and get some rest,” Louis admits as he watches Harry try to keep his eyes open.

“You haven’t left here in ages, mate,” Liam chimes in. “You’ve let us get some sleep, been here the whole time.”

Harry looks from Louis and Liam to Niall, who smiles at him. 

“I don’t know…” Harry says but they can tell he’s fighting off sleep.

“It’s fine,” Niall says giving Harry’s hand a squeeze. “The lads are here.”

“You sure?” Harry asks and Niall nods.  “I love you,” Harry says looking at Niall.

“I love you too,” Niall says rubbing small circles on the back of Harry’s hand with his thumb. 

Harry stands up and kisses Niall softly on the lips. 

“I’ll see you later,” Niall says quietly and Harry gives a quick nod, but he looks like he’s about to cry.  When Harry leaves the room, Niall’s head falls back on his pillow and he stares up at the ceiling, tears beginning to fall from his eyes.

“You’re not alright, are you?” Liam asks and Niall shakes his head. “Today was one of those surge things that happens before—”

Niall takes a deep breath then looks at the two of them.

“I didn’t want Harry to be here for it,” Niall says breathing out slowly.

“There’s got to be something we can do, Niall,” Louis urges. He takes Niall’s hand and he tries to hold back his tears. “I’m not ready to lose you.”

Niall starts crying at Louis’ words.

“What do you need us to do?” Liam asks. Louis was always the straightforward on in hard situations in the past and it almost makes it hurt that much more that Louis can’t be that person so Liam has to.

“I don’t know how long I have, but I need you to get out of here…leave this town, take Harry with you, never look back, and keep each other safe. You’ve got to promise me that you’ll do just that.”

Liam and Louis both nod.

“Absolutely,” Louis says quietly.

Niall starts to cry even more. “I just wanted to get you lads out of this life. I wanted to see me da again. I wanted to ask Harry to marry me and grow old together.”

Louis and Liam both hold their hands out for Niall to take.

“I’m so sorry, Nialler,” Louis says.

“I love you boys,” Niall says. “I just want you both to be happy and I want Harry to be happy…I love him so much.” Niall cries. “He was the one…He was the one.”

Louis and Liam sit in silence as Niall drifts into sleep.  They see the increase in blue lights flashing outside through the window, with the faint sounds of police sirens, as Niall’s breathing slows.

 

 

Harry turns over in the bed, trying to find a comfortable spot, but it’s practically impossible without Niall in the bed beside him, no matter how tired he is.

He tries to curl up, arms scrunching up the pillow beneath his head as he lies in the dark of his flat. He breathes in the silence around him or the faint sounds of sirens in the distance.  He turns over once more, his face buried into the pillow on the other side of the bed.  It still smells like Niall, even though they usually slept at Niall’s flat, there are the faintest hints of cinnamon on the pillow.

Harry mind starts to drift into sleep and his phone goes off on the nightstand. The sound stills his body and he can’t bring himself to move as the tone rings out.  Harry closes his eyes for a moment, the pain tumbling up in his body as he brings himself to sit up an answer the phone, holding it in his shaking hand, but this time it’s Liam’s voice on the other side.

“Harry?” Liam asks when Harry doesn’t say anything right away.

“He’s gone, isn’t he?” Harry breathes out.

Liam lets out a shaky breath before he answers. “He loved you so much, Harry. He needed you to know that.”

Harry feels numb, as if every ounce of energy or light was stripped away and there was nothing left.

“Harry, there’s something else…” Liam says in a low tone. “The police were just here.  They’ve arrested Louis for Marcus and Eddie’s murders.  By the sound of it, it was the Roundhousers, witnesses came forward pointing at Lou for the murders…Harry, I hate to do this,” Liam says quickly. “I know how much you love Niall and I know this is the hardest thing I can ask you to do, but I made a promise to keep you safe. But to do that we need to leave.” Liam pauses for a moment.  “You need to pack a bag, just the essentials; I’ll meet you at the bookstore tomorrow morning at nine. Alright?”

“Yeah…” Harry manages to say.

“Harry, I’m so sorry,” Liam says. “He never wanted to hurt you.”

“I know…”

“Tomorrow morning at nine,” Liam repeats before he hangs up.

 

 

He doesn’t sleep at all that night, but he can’t bring himself to leave his bed either.  Niall asked Louis and Liam to protect him, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t help protect them too. With Niall gone and Louis in jail, Liam and Harry would be their next targets. A grand game of divide and conquer had Harry going on the run and missing the man he loved most in the world.

Harry packs a couple of small bags.  He takes the small box out of his half empty sock drawer. He stares at the ring inside, takes off his small crucifix necklace and slips the ring onto the chain before he secures it back around his neck. He checks out the front window before he leaves the flat, walking as quickly as possible to the bookstore. 

Mr. Holland is there when he walks in and looks at him with sad eyes before he comes over and wraps his arms around Harry.  Mr. Holland pulls away, his hand gently cupping Harry’s face.  “If I had known what would happen,” he began. “I would have never given you this job…I would have told you to leave this town that does nothing but destroy the lives of good people.”

Doesn’t say anything but he drops his bags and fishes his keys out of his pocket.  He hand Mr. Holland the key to the store and then a second ring with two different keys on it. “Give this to Perrie,” Harry says gently. “Have her wait a couple weeks before she goes into either flat, she can do whatever she wants with the stuff, but ask her not to throw anything away. Niall had a guitar, just make sure it finds a good home and the books in my flat are yours.”

“You are a very brave man, Harry Styles,” Mr. Holland says. “Just make sure that you do not move on only to live in the past.”

Harry looks at him and smiles, giving a small nod.  He suddenly felt like an outsider in the shop again, it felt like the first time he was in there looking for a copy of _In Cold Blood_ , but this time, his heart was heavy and his body, mind were numb, and he just wanted to leave.  Harry looks at the bookshelves and then at the counter, where he first saw the blond tufts of hair hiding on the other side of it.  Harry checks the time, seeing that it was almost nine o’clock. He breathes in and out. Everything started in the store, so it was only fitting that it ended there as well.  The store was quiet in the cool morning, making the sound of gunshots from down the street outside, sound even louder.

Harry hears another shot ring out. “No…” Harry breathes out and he’s out the door without a second thought, running down the sidewalk, the sound of his boots on the pavement echoes against the buildings and he sees a figure lying on the ground in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Liam!” Harry cries out. “Liam!” He slides to the ground beside the body. Liam’s eyes wide open, staring into the nothingness, blood pooling out of his body and onto the damp walkway.

“No, Liam stay with me,” Harry tries to shake him, looking for any sign of life in an already dead body. “Liam…” Harry touches Liam’s face and begins to cry and all the pain comes surging forward again. It was everything he’d been trying to suppress being released in him all at once.  He wants to die in that moment; he felt he could never get away from this.

“Liam…” He says quietly, and he remembers Niall’s face and it hurts even more. The sound of sirens gets closer. “I’m so sorry, Liam.”  Harry reaches down and closes Liam’s eyes.

Harry stands up, stumbling a few steps before he runs back down the sidewalk toward the bookstore, Niall’s face never leaving his mind.

 

 

 

+++

 

 

 

Harry steps into the Dublin Airport after his flight from Amsterdam.  He’d spent over two weeks there, lying low, keeping an eye on the news coming out of London.  He sees the headline for the shooting involving the Roundhousers and the London Irish Crew; a total of eleven men were found dead at the scene, Harry read further down the article which talks about Niall and how the police got a tip that Niall was part of the LIC and how he died in the hospital a few days after the shooting.

Every piece of information about what happened seemed so black and white. It painted Niall as a thug and attributed Liam’s death to the gang violence, and started talking about how the police needed to contain the problem, making it seem like it was Liam and Niall’s fault that they were killed.

The articles about Louis might have been even worse.  They charged him with the murders of both Eddie and Marcus and it didn’t help that there were multiple cases where he’d blatantly lied to the police involving the LIC, plus the questions raised about his involvement in the shooting between the two clubs.  With the witnesses that came forward, most likely bought off by the Roundhousers, sealed Louis’ fate.  They’d make sure Louis would rot in jail for the rest of his life.

By the time Harry got to Dublin, London wasn’t going a day without reports of gang members being killed or arrested. 

Harry gets a taxi, sitting quietly in the backseat, watching the city turn into countryside.  He tries to imagine what it looked like the last time Niall would have seen it and how different it would have been leaving the only place he knew.

 

The taxi pulls up outside a small house, and Harry walks up the narrow sidewalk, and knocks on the front door. 

He hears footsteps on the other side and when the door opens, he knows he’s in the right place.  Niall has his dad’s eyes, Harry thinks to himself. 

“Are you Bobby Horan?” Harry asks.

He nods looking at Harry with a confused expression.

“My name’s Harry Styles…I uh…I knew—” Harry pauses, shifts on his feet, he can’t bring himself to look Bobby in the eye.

“Is this about me boy, Niall?” Bobby asks in a straightforward manner.

Harry nods.

“Something’s happened to him…” Bobby says, but he watches at Harry tries to muster up the courage to tell him what happened.  “My boy’s dead, isn’t he?”

Harry looks up at him and nods.  “I’m so sorry, Mr. Horan,” Harry starts to cry. “All he wanted to do was come home and see you.  He was trying to get out so he could come back and everything just went so wrong so quickly and he just wanted to see his dad again.”

Harry reaches up and grasps the ring on his necklace and Bobby’s gazes flickers from Harry’s face to the ring clenched in his hand.

“You weren’t just his friend, were you?” Bobby asks him in a soft tone and Harry shakes his head.

“I loved him.”

“Did he know?” Bobby asks next and Harry doesn’t understand the question. “When my son died, did he know that you loved him?”

“It was the last thing I said to him,” Harry admits.

“Then I think I have something for you,” Bobby says and he goes back into the house and comes back a moment later with a yellow envelope. “This showed up a couple days ago. I’d never seen it before but the note inside said it belonged to my son.” Bobby reaches into the envelope and pulls out the necklace that Harry gave him for Christmas. “I don’t know what these different charms mean, but I assume they were important to Niall…”

Bobby holds the necklace out for Harry to take.  “I think he would’ve wanted you to have it.  My son made many mistakes in his life, but it never stopped me from loving him and I think the same goes for you.”

Harry takes the necklaces, turning it over in his hand so that he can see the four distinct charms splayed out on his palm.

“You’re so calm about this,” Harry says looking up to Bobby.

Bobby gives a sad smile.  “I haven’t seen my Niall in years, but I woke up in the middle of the night a couple weeks ago and I think I just knew and when I received that necklace in the mail. I just knew that I’d lost my boy.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Horan,” Harry says as if it was his fault.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Harry. You loved Niall and that’s all that matters.” Bobby watches Harry for a moment.  “I was just about to put the kettle on, if you’d like to come in.”

Harry nods, giving a small smile and he follows Bobby into the small house, closing the door behind him, thinking of nothing and nobody, but Niall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! Let me know what you think in the comments.
> 
> Much love!  
> Xoxo


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